MANCHESTER, Tenn. — We woke in Nashville blinking with disbelief. Five of us guys were about to head 60 miles southeast to the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, which we envisioned as four nights of music, camping, bright sunshine and swaying women in bikini tops.
One problem: Thick sheets of rain drummed the Nashville pavement.
Actually, make that two problems.
“This is my buddy who has been to the last five Bonnaroos,” Aaron growled, staring at a text message. “He said traffic is the worst he’s ever seen. He’s going 2 miles an hour.”
The bizarre thing about a music festival — especially a festival that becomes the place where you eat, sleep and shower (if you’re lucky) for several days — is your complete degree of semicontrol.
Yes, semicontrol. In our rented Chrysler Town & Country van — fits not only a family of seven but a bunch of dudes ready to rock! — we packed three kinds of cheese; four loaves of bread; towering boxes of crackers and cookies; tomatoes; bananas; avocados; turkey; salami; gallons, gallons and still more gallons of water; and possibly even more cans of beer.
We had sleeping bags, sleeping mats, tents, pillows, hats, shoes, sandals, clothes for all seasons, sunscreen and bug spray. What we didn’t have was control: over the weather, the traffic, the length of the line to the shower, or who would be camping on either side of us.
Unlike a beach vacation, where you decide where to lounge, where to eat and where to stay, we were at the mercy of greater forces. It was going to rain? Then we would be rained upon. Aaron snored? I was sharing a tent with him. Which would all be part of the fun. I hoped.
And anyway, there was the ostensible reason for the trip: music. Nearly 150 bands would show up in semirural Tennessee, enough variation among them to please most anyone — from Nine Inch Nails to Neko Case, Bruce Springsteen to Beastie Boys, Phish to Phoenix.
Fueled in part by Bonnaroo’s success, dozens of similar festivals have taken root, drawing thousands every summer to vast green spaces for reveling in rock, funk, bluegrass, country — even lesbian folk. At the end of each day, concertgoers wobble into a tent and collapse, then wake the next morning and do it all again. It’s rock ‘n’ roll summer camp for adults.
As we rolled south, both weather and traffic cleared, and we five dudes discussed strategy for surviving the weekend and each other.
“You’ve got to be zen about the whole thing,” Rob said.
“It makes it worse if there’s a meltdown,” Andrew said.
“No meltdowns,” Mike said.
“Yeah, and a meltdown wouldn’t accomplish much,” I said. “Though it might be cathartic.”
“Uh-oh,” Andrew said. “He’s leaving the door open.”
I’m happy to say there were no meltdowns, because we adhered to the most essential rule of camping festivals: Go with the right people. Who are they? Your friends and people who share your temperament.
We all have a high-strung pal or two whose eccentricities we can forgive long enough for a lunch or Friday night drink. Do not go to Bonnaroo with that person.
Similarly, don’t go with people who can’t rely on themselves for a good time. Go instead with someone like Andrew — nothing fazes him. When he and I both wanted to see Ted Leo, we saw Ted Leo. When we wanted to go in separate directions, no biggie. We caught up again later.
Unless you’re a professional hippie or college kid, it can be difficult to wade into a festival and adjust to its jarring differences from life as a lawyer, firefighter or journalist. It’s OK. Go with it, stay open-minded and remember: Beer tastes good at 10:30 a.m.
Within 36 hours — at most — you’ll find your groove. It makes waking up to a surprise Jimmy Buffett set at noon on Saturday a welcome surprise, even if normally you’d want nothing to do with the king parrot head. Eventually you start floating along: I saw Buffett, Alejandro Escovedo, Burning Spear, Heartless Bastards, Robyn Hitchcock, Booker T. with Drive-By Truckers, Jenny Lewis, of Montreal, Wilco, Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, Yeasayer and Nine Inch Nails — all in one day.
Which illustrates another point: The festival is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no way to take it all in, so let your gut guide you. You’re not seeing bands as much as you’re seeing a festival.
A little practical advice: Drink plenty of water and wear sunblock. Dehydration and sunburns will kill your joy faster than the brown acid. But — and this is important — dance, drink and enjoy yourself fervently enough to end in exhaustion, which makes the ground seem softer at the end of the night.
Going in, I thought we were traveling for the music. That turned out to be wrong. We went for the early morning beers, the sneaked cigarettes we’d never smoke at home, and for each other. It was as much about eating sandwiches in folding chairs at our campsite as it was about seeing Al Green or Grizzly Bear (the band, not the animal).
It was about the fact that “Outlaw Pete” remains more to us than a lousy Springsteen song — it’s now an inside joke. It was about being on the road. Which is why, in true 12-year-old girl style, we agreed when it was over to continue wearing our Bonnaroo bracelets for a week, then cut them off together.
We didn’t make it, all getting tired of them within a couple of days. But it helped me understand when I see someone, almost a year later, still wearing his Bonnaroo tag around his wrist. Those four days are something you keep with you.
Upcoming camping festivals
June 11-12: Winstock Country Music Festival, Winsted, Minn. Performers include Alan Jackson, Sara Evans and Ronnie Milsap. winstockfestival.com
July 1-4: High Sierra Music Festival, Quincy, Calif. Performers include Widespread Panic, Black Crowes and Blitzen Trapper. highsierramusic.com
July 2-4: Nateva Music and Camping Festival, Oxford, Maine. Performers include George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic, Drive-By Truckers and moe. natevafestival.com
July 15-17: Camp Bisco, Mariaville, N.Y. Plenty of jam bands, but enough rock to keep the balance. Performers include Disco Biscuits, LCD Soundsystem and Ween. campbisco.net
Aug. 3-8: Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, Walhalla, Mich. I hear it can be hugely empowering for lesbians and nonlesbians alike. No males older than 10 are allowed. Performers include Indigo Girls, Sia and Cris Williamson. michfest.com
We adhered to the most essential rule of camping festivals: Go with the right people.
