Crime & Punishment: Guns, Guns, Guns

New Haven, meet Aaron Freeman. He's a 59-year-old unemployed former pizza delivery driver and he wants to serve on your Board of Aldermen. Freeman is running as a write-in Libertarian candidate (though he hasn't paid the $425 requested by the U.S. Libertarian Party) to represent the neighborhood of Westville, and he has a solution to its epidemic of gun violence: "I see so many Second Amendment advocates who don't take inner-city children out to the rifle range," he bemoaned to the New Haven Independent, adding, "People are going to be shot less often if they are not afraid of guns. If you can't scare a person by pointing a gun at them, then you either have to fish or cut bait." In addition to teaching kids when to "fish" (e.i. shoot someone), the gun-range trips would make gun advocates "a lot of friends. It would give them better political clout." However, the free market has dictated that Freeman not carry a gun himself; he said he is "too poor" to buy one. His platform also includes the legalization of all drugs, except crack cocaine.

Nathaniel Chambers, one of four men accused of gang-beating a South Windsor auto-shop owner, disrupted his trial (and forfeited a possible plea deal) by refusing to stop beat-boxing in a Hartford courtroom. Chambers, 28, first disrupted court proceedings with "high-pitched, unintelligible cries that were heard from the lock-up next to the courtroom," according to the Hartford Courant. When his case was called, judicial marshals carried Chambers in as he loudly sang and beat-boxed. He didn't heed Judge Joan Alexander's orders to quiet down, so she threw him out of the courtroom and resumed the trial. Alexander speculated that Chambers, who allegedly teamed up with his friends to beat the mechanic to near death when he didn't deliver work on a Mazda RX-7, was "malingering" a mental illness.

Evil utility company Metropolitan District, MDC, sent one of its customers in Glastonbury a $4,324 bill to make up for its own crappy meter-reading system. Carrie Conroy's home has been serviced by the water company for more than a decade, reports WTNH. They had never gotten a proper meter reading for her home and every quarter billed her for an "estimate" of about $130. Recently, the company fixed Conroy's meter and realized it had been underestimating her bill all these years. They tallied up the difference and demanded she pony up four grand for water they supposedly didn't collect on (though they did offer a six-year installment plan).

While unloading his gun, Hartford police Sgt. Eric Smith accidentally fired a bullet through his South Windsor home and into the bedroom of his neighbors' 12-year-old daughter, police told the Hartford Courant. After the blast, Smith wrongly concluded that the slug had stopped in his own wall (despite presumably having been trained to investigate such things). His neighbors found it in their daughter's bed frame, and South Windsor police concluded it was fired from Smith's home. (The neighbors declined to press charges, though Smith may face internal discipline by the Hartford PD.)

And they say it impairs your judgement: Brian Michael Sullivan of Middletown, later found to be in possession of a small stash of marijuana, led police on what the Middletown Press called a "low-speed chase." An officer allegedly spotted Sullivan's vehicle dawdling at a stop sign and then saw him turn without signaling. In spite of the lights and sirens, Sullivan, 22, reportedly moseyed down the road for a few minutes. He eventually "stuck his head out of the window and acknowledged police," according to the officer, and then leisurely pulled into a gas station.

Called in on a noise complaint, police found 350 people inside a Hamden house and another 150 in the yard. So many Quinnipiac University students had attended the epic house party that police requested buses from the school to take them back to campus, reports the New Haven Register. Only after the area was clear did anyone realize that a partygoer had fallen down a 15-foot abandoned well in the backyard. He was trapped but not seriously injured.

A North Stonington man accused of violently shaking his teenage daughter on Christmas Day has agreed to sell off his 91 guns in exchange for an accelerated rehabilitation program that will expunge the charge from his record, reports The Day. After the alleged yuletide beating, Elbert Morgan Jr.'s wife reportedly told police he subscribes to Soldier of Fortune, watches TV while cradling a gun and might "snap." Police seized his extensive firearm collection.

Women with knives: Jacqueline Morris of Bridgeport allegedly stabbed her teenage son in the back after he refused to take out the trash, police told the Connecticut Post. That same week, Kayla Coker of Stamford allegedly took a knife to her live-in boyfriend's arm because he forgot to pay the water bill, according to the Stamford Advocate.

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