Groom Guide

Engaged to a fellow who wants to get involved in the wedding planning process but doesn’t know where to start? First, congratulate yourself on finding a fabulous man, and then hand him the following tips.

Traditionally, groom’s have been responsible for some of the big day’s cushier tasks. “From choosing his groomsmen and selecting a tux, to reserving the limo and keeping tabs on the marriage license, grooms have it made,” says Michael Essany, author of “Groomology: What Every (Smart) Groom Needs to Know Before the Wedding” (Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2009). “Honeymoon planning also typically falls in his lap, so, once again, the groom scores.”

Other standard groom duties have included: helping his wedding party with their attire and purchasing their thank-you gifts; preparing a toast for the rehearsal and reception; buying his bride’s wedding ring; and occasionally organizing the rehearsal dinner, as his family traditionally pays for this event.

But these days, many modern grooms are finding additional ways to step up to the wedding planning plate. For instance, working with the band or DJ and selecting the playlist for the reception, says Jeff Trinci, founder of TheGroomsList.com. A groom also might enjoy determining what alcohol to pour, organizing lodging for the wedding party and guests, or doing some of the preliminary vendor research – he gathers information on the officiant, photographer, videographer, transportation and wedding-night hotel, for example, and then presents his findings to the bride so that they can select their top three together, says Trinci.

Fortunately, contemporary wedding planning has become more of a team sport, and grooms now play a larger role in even the more tedious or stressful aspects of planning, like deciding who to invite, planning the budget and selecting napkin rings, adds Essany. “If he survives this, marriage will be no problem.”

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