Crime & Punishment: "Illegal immigrants are terrorists"
“Illegal immigrants are terrorists,” shouted one of 30 or so counter-protestors to a rally in East Haven calling for unity in light of the police racial-profiling scandal. (Other heckles included, “Go home” and, of course, “Speak English,” recounts the Hartford Courant.) The 450-person demonstration was entirely peaceful. Meanwhile, in Gainesville, Ga., 31-year-old Dustin Gold, a North Branford native who spearheaded the protest against New Haven's immigrant ID card program a few years ago, was arrested for allegedly stabbing another man in the stomach. In 2008, the New Haven Advocate noted that Gold “dresses well, speaks well and carries himself well, which creates an aura of authority,” but that composure evaporated when Gold, who runs a video production company, got into an argument with the producer of a commercial for a car dealership, police told the Gainesville Times.

While gun violence often happens in somewhat predictable areas, like New Haven's Newhallville neighborhood, where last week a TV news crew was fired on while reporting about another shooting, it can also pop up where it is least unexpected — like the kitchen of the Old Saybrook homeowner who says she was nearly hit by a stray bullet while washing dishes. Police told NBC Connecticut that John Patrick Kelly, a 45-year-old retired New Haven police officer who lives next door and was allegedly intoxicated at the time, fired a gun and the bullet blasted out of his own home and through the kitchen wall, wooden cabinets and stainless steel sink of a neighbor, who narrowly missed its path.

AHMAD WILLIAM STOREY of Hartford, who is facing charges ranging from reckless driving to larceny to operation of a drug factory, has stated in court papers that the U.S. has no jurisdiction over him. The Middletown Press reports that STOREY, 32, appeared in a Middletown District Court long enough to spell his name for the judge, insisting on all capitals, but refused to come forward from the public gallery and soon after wandered off. His attorney, who asked to be relieved of the case, said he has limited “sane” contact with STOREY, who says that his affiliation with a group called the Moorish Holy Temple of Science of the World puts him outside the reach of the law.

Hell on wheels: The Fairfield Cab Company has been in the news recently, as one driver faces charges for allegedly sexually assaulting an intoxicated passenger and another for reportedly purchasing alcohol for customers who were minors. The Connecticut Department of Transportation is now forcing the shutdown of the taxi service, which had a contract to operate out of the Fairfield Train Station, after six out of its six vehicles failed an inspection. The DOT report claims the company was “failing to operate properly at almost every level.”

Paramedics were called to Fairfield University over reports that a “highly intoxicated” young man was urinating in the hallways of a dorm building. The man, 19-year-old Michael Fiori, allegedly threw a punch at an EMS worker (which was blocked when the medic threw up a laptop) and acted “degrading” towards hospital staff, reports the Connecticut Post.

Jesus was always “going place to place and bringing healing,” Elsa Worth, rector of Grace Church in Trumbull, told the Connecticut Post. “If we never go out of our doors, we're not following his footsteps.” So Worth spent Ash Wednesday at a Trumbull Starbucks, anointing the foreheads of the faithful and offering them a double shot of repentance with the Lord with their soy vanilla lattes and vanilla bean Frappuccinos.

While waiting in the drive-thru lane of a Dunkin' Donuts in Milford, Bobby Chester apparently got so excited he could not wait until he had gotten his order to start masturbating in his car. The New Haven Register reports Chester, 43, was charged with public indecency. Dude, we feel the same way about Coffee Coolattas!

A “suspicious” piece of mail caused authorities to clear out the Hartford office of U.S. Sen. Joseph Lieberman. No word on what was so alarming about the package but we'd consider any letter of praise or encouragement to be very suspicious.

Jose Gonzalez allegedly pulled off quite the jewelry heist. Police charged Gonzalez, 22, with larceny and risk of injury to a child after he reportedly tore a gold necklace off a 2-year-old girl playing inside a Stamford Laundromat, reports the Stamford Advocate.

Last week, Stamford police also arrested Mohamed Shohan, 49, for allegedly beating his 11-year-old son with a coffee mug because the boy would not pay attention during the State of the Union address. The Stamford Advocate reports the boy recounted the incident after winding up at Stamford Hospital with injuries to the bridge of his nose.

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