The new Dodgers manager should wear a suit and sit in the stands during games. His responsibilities will be to motivate the players before and after games, hand the lineup card to the umpires, and meet with the press. A data clerk sitting in the dugout with a laptop will direct the players electronically before every pitch based on a solution selected by a supercomputer after making trillions of calculations per second with the mad scientist team of Andrew Friedman and Farhan Zaidi at the controls in a closet deep in the bowels of Dodger Stadium. I can hardly wait.
The Dodgers' front office should look up from their Strat-O-Matic boards and...