Green beer, shamrock-painted faces, green trousers and truckloads of corned beef and cabbage might scare the bejesus out of some of the people who actually live in Ireland, but in the United States, this is how we celebrate what Ireland’s Roman Catholics consider a holy day. That doesn’t mean the American St. Patrick’s Day is unholy. Irish Fest on Flagler, for instance, will kick off its Sunday schedule with a Gaelic mass. But that will be just a prelude to the beer-swilling, corned-beef-eating and mad-jigging that will carry us through next week. Consider this list of St. Patrick’s Day parties your guide to the madness. Now go forth, drink Guinness and beware of little old men in green pants and shiny shamrock necklaces.

BROWARD

Barrett’s Sly Fox Old Irish Pub
The experienced partiers at Barrett’s Sly Fox Old Irish Pub will kick off the shenanigans between 5 and 6 p.m. Monday, when Tim Finnegan’s coffin (complete with dummy) will arrive with a police escort. People posing as the pope, a priest and a nun will follow the casket, along with weeping mourners and the Police Pipe and Drum Band. Once inside the pub, the coffin will be opened, Irish tenor Jack Josey will sing “Danny Boy” and the mourning, singing, dancing and drinking will begin. The party will continue with “Practice Night” Tuesday and the big party Wednesday. The Sly Fox is at 3537 N. Ocean Blvd., in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-383-2285.

Biddy Early’s
This pub, named for a healer who treated peasants and was known to talk to fairies, will play Irish music from 11 a.m. until the band George and Friends takes the stage at 7 p.m. The St. Patrick’s Day menu is simple: corned beef and cabbage with red potatoes, corned beef on rye and beef-and-Guinness stew. Biddy Early’s is at 3419 N. Andrews Ave, in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-567-1990 or visit Biddyearlysflorida.com.

Briny Irish Bar and Restaurant
Live Irish music from Joe Dougherty, Danny Michaels, Kevin Sheehan and others will begin 6 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. Sunday and 1 pm. Wednesday. Plenty of Guinness and Harp will be available to wash down the fish and chips, bangers and mash, shepherd’s pie, and corned beef and cabbage at 3440 E. Atlantic Blvd., in Pompano Beach. Admission is free. Call 954-942-3159 or visit Brinyirishpub.com.

Briny Riverfront
The Briny Riverfront and the nearby Briny Irish Club at 280 S.W. Second Street will feature the same attractions as Briny Irish Bar, plus live Irish music starting at 2 p.m. Saturday and its usual St. Patrick’s Day array of step-dancers and bagpipers. Briny Riverfront is at 305 S. Andrews Ave., in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-376-4742 or visit Brinyirishpub.com.

Dicey Riley’s
The same St. Patrick’s Day hoopla that will occur at Briny Riverfront and Briny Irish Club also will take place at Dicey Riley’s, because Briny now owns the pub at 217 S.W. Second St., in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-522-1908 or visit Brinyirishpub.com. Admission is free.

Downtown Hollywood
The greening of downtown Hollywood will include a parade 1 p.m. Sunday, followed by a party with Irish folk and rock bands, step-dancing and Irish foods and beer until 6 p.m. The festivities will take place along Hollywood Boulevard, west of Young Circle between 18th and 19th avenues. Admission is free. Call 954-921-3404 or visit Visithollywoodfl.org/events.aspx.

The Emerald Pub
The Emerald will hold a small corned beef and cabbage affair Wednesday at 5650 Stirling Road, in Hollywood. Admission is free. Call 954-983-1644 or visit Emeraldpubhollywood.com.

The Field Irish Pub and Eatery

The Field’s house band, Celtic Bridge, includes singer-guitarist Ade Peever and Belfast-born siblings Roisin (on fiddle) and Eamonnn Dillon (on whistle and uilleann pipes). The band will play this St. Pat’s bash, as will Celtic Mayhem and musical duo Richard Wood and Gordon Belcher. DJ Jason Dunne will spin later in the evening. There also will be a leprechaun, bagpipers and traditional Irish feasting, starting at 11 a.m. Wednesday at 328 Griffin Road, in Dania Beach. Admission is $5. Call 954-964-5979 or visit Thefieldfl.com.

Huizenga Plaza
Fort Lauderdale’s St. Patrick’s Day Festival will begin noon Saturday and will feature Irish step-dancers, bagpipers and musical acts such as Celtic Bridge, Echoes of Erin, Avalon, Celtic Mayhem, Walt Rooney, Joe Dougherty and LaHinch Mob. The event also will include storytelling, cooking demonstrations, sheepherding, currach racing (a currach is a wood-framed Irish boat), the Irish sport of hurling and a 2 p.m. parade. The parade will progress from Southeast Eighth Avenue to Southeast First Avenue along Las Olas Boulevard and end at Huizenga Plaza, where the party will take continue until 9 p.m. Admission is free. Call 954-828-5985 or visit Ftlaudirishfest.com.

Kelly’s Landing
On weekends, Kelly’s regulars line up outside the door for fresh New England seafood served by a friendly wait staff. Imagine the crowds when they start dishing up corned beef and cabbage among step-dancers, bagpipers and live Irish music on St. Patrick’s Day. Fortunately, the pub’s party will expand into the parking lot and a neighboring storefront. Kelly’s is at 1305 S.E. 17th Street, in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-760-7009 or visit Kellyslandingseafood.com.

Maguire’s Hill 16
As usual, Maguire’s is pitching a big tent, and this time, the bar will present a St. Patrick’s Eve trial run with local blues band Iko-Iko and Port Salerno roots act the Nouveaux Honkies. On Wednesday, the party will get started at 8 a.m. and feature music by Padraig Keane’s Cracklin’ Rosie, and Randi the fiddler and the Bluefire Band. The party will last till 3 a.m. Maguire’s is at 535 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale. Admission is $10 on both nights. Call 954-764-4453 or visit Maguireshill16.com.

McSorley’s Beach Pub
This pub promises to rock with Irish-car-bomb- and Guinness-drinking contests that are not for the faint-hearted. McSorley’s will unveil its new upstairs lounge and deck bar and host beer pong, steel darts and flip cup competitions at 837 N. Lauderdale Beach Blvd., in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-565-4446 or visit Mcsorleysbeachpub.com.

Mickey Byrnes
The celebrating will go on for days at Mickey Byrnes, a Hollywood pub that promises no kitschy shamrocks or glass-encased fiddles. On Saturday, sponsored volunteers will shave their heads to raise money for childhood cancer research at the pub’s St. Baldrick’s Day Festival. On Sunday, the bar will become a hot spot during the Irish parade and street fest it co-sponsors in downtown Hollywood. The pub will open 10 a.m. Wednesday and will host Irish dancers and bagpipers into the wee hours. Admission is free. Mickey Byrnes is at 1921 Hollywood Blvd., in Hollywood. Call 954-921-2317 or visit Mickeybyrnes.com.

Revolution Live
Partying like there’s no tomorrow, as is the theme of most St. Pat’s parties, is a learned skill. For those people who lack that skill, Revolution Live will host a “St. Practice Day” bash that will allow attendees to warm up for the big day with $3 green beers, $5 Jameson drinks and performances by UV: the U2 Tribute, Paul Castronovo with Baker Act, and Disco Inferno. 6 p.m. Friday at 200 W. Broward Blvd., in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is $15 and includes a 16-ounce green Bud Light. Call 954-727-0950 or visit Jointherevolution.net.

Waxy O’Connor’s
The Irish band Shenanigans will perform throughout the day and into the night, followed by a DJ from 9 until closing at 1095 S.E. 17th St., in Fort Lauderdale. Admission is free. Call 954-525-9299 or visit Waxys.com.

MIAMI-DADE

Clarke’s
This small pub will open 9 a.m. Wednesday with piped-in traditional music and its annual Bushmills and Baileys breakfast, with $2 shots of Baileys, $2 shots of Bushmills and $3 pints of Guinness until noon. Beginning at noon, the pub will serve a limited menu that includes corned beef and cabbage, shepherd’s pie, fish and chips and Irish spring rolls. Admission is free. Clarkes is at 840 First St., in Miami Beach. Call 305-538-9885 or visit Clarkesmiamibeach.com.

Duffy’s Tavern
This tavern will open 10 a.m. Wednesday with a big tent and a beer truck parked outside. Live music will be featured, and the kitchen will serve corned-beef sandwiches and Irish potato soup. Duffy’s is at 2108 S.W. 57th Avenue, in Miami. Admission is free. Call 305-264-6580.

Finnegan’s River
Specials on Irish food and drinks will be accompanied by DJ music at 401
S.W. Third Ave., in Miami. Admission is free. Call 305-285-3030 or visit
Finnegansriver.com.