Anna Pulley, @annapulley
RedEye's sex columnist
12:06 PM EST, December 19, 2012
It's winter (almost)! (Also, gross). That means it's time for another quick 'n' dirty-style advice column. Grab some mulled wine and come sit on my knee. If you missed the fall quickies, read 'em at your leisure. It is winter, after all, what else are you doing?
The girl I'm dating says she has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This sounds fake. Is it?
Much like "restless leg syndrome" (people who can't stop twitching their legs), it's easy to cast off Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for what it sounds like: laziness. However, according to the CDC, it's a "debilitating and complex disorder characterized by intense fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity."
On online dating sites, which is the worse offense: "looking for a partner in crime" or "tired of kissing frogs"?
Cliches are annoying, yes, but so is calling people out for occasionally using them. Put another way, a rose by any other name would still think you're being pretentious.
My boyfriend has a gerbil. I think rodents are disgusting. How do I handle this sensitively?
Gerbils are a-holes, but at least they are caged. When you start dating someone with a flying squirrel, then we'll talk.
My girlfriend is always posting pictures of herself on Facebook. Why does she do this? Is it healthy?
The Internet is where we live now. It could be that she's doing it for validation, or boredom, or so you'll pay attention to her. But our lives and egos are intrinsically bound with online mediums now. Whether that's "healthy" is anyone's guess, though if you think you're not part of the noise, then you're welcome to delete your Facebook account.
My male best friend's girlfriend is jealous of me. Why does she think I'm a threat to her? I'm not!
Because she thinks your best friend is only capable of a finite amount of intimacy and that you're occupying too much of it.
I'm a lesbian, but whenever a guy hits on me, I don't know how to reject him and feel like it's a "copout" to tell him I'm gay.
What? Do me a favor and read that back to yourself. Now read this, slowly: You. Are. Gay. It's not a copout. It's the reality. It sounds like you have a case of "too nice" syndrome, which is, unlike the first question, not a real disease, but still affects lots of people (most of them women). "I'm flattered but I like girls" is a perfectly fine rejection. Don't be afraid to be who you are.
My not-that-close friend of mine just had a terrible breakup. Is there a non-tacky holiday gift I can give her that says "Life sucks sometimes. I'm sorry, here's a present"?
Yes. Your time. Your compassion. Your sympathy. And Nutella.
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