Clown-O-Meter:  Criminals trying to rob Stamford mall are apprehended when they get lost in the parking garage

Stamford mall parking garage (courtesy Stamford Advocate)

-Four Brooklyn men allegedly executed a brazen and (partially) well-planned robbery of a jewelry store in the Stamford Town Center mall. One smashed a glass display case with a hammer, allowing the others to scoop up $600,000 worth of watches before running off, police told the Stamford Advocate. Though self-drawn diagrams of the store and mall were allegedly later found on the men, their plans apparently fell short when they reached their getaway car; police say they got lost in the parking garage and were apprehended.


-Other thieves who did not think it through: Two South Windsor brothers allegedly stole a Connecticut Light & Power transformer, which spilled a fluid in the back of their truck, attracting the attention of police and exposing the two to toxic chemicals, reports WTNH. They should have known the device was a leaky piece of junk from the CL&P logo on its side. Are we right or are we right!?


-The principal of the Church Street School in Hamden warned parents that students have been using school supplies to make "prison weapons." Sources told the New Haven Register one student injured himself trying to remove the blades from a pencil sharpener and another was cut after she picked up a pen from the floor to find it had pencil sharper blades fused to it. (Thankfully, no students have been attacked with such items.)


-Police asked a 43-year-old woman, who often comes into a Monroe coffee shop and speaks gibberish, to leave the shop's drive-through window where she sat revving her car's engine. She did have a good reason; she explained the action "transmits signals into her brain" and also wards off a barista who "is a zombie who plans to turn her into a zombie," reports the Monroe Courier.


-Richard Taylor of Bridgeport was allegedly one of three men who invaded a home, manhandled the residents and left with a stolen purse and cell phone. The victims say they later implicated Taylor, 22, upon discovering a public Facebook status update in which he bragged about being on the news for committing a crime, reports the Connecticut Post.


-Approaching his 11th day without power, a 39-year-old Avon man called Connecticut Light & Power and claimed he had been shocked by a down line. This was, of course, impossible, as there was no juice going through the line, and police believe it was a rouse to get a CL&P crew out to the site, reports the Avon Patch website.


-Griffin Hospital in Derby is hosting the most depressing clothing drive we have ever encountered. The hospital is seeking garments for patients rapidly shrinking due to weight-loss surgery. So if you've lost all hope of ever fitting into your skinny jeans again, send 'em in.


-A playful credit card thief used a Wilton man's stolen card to purchase $500 worth of Rogaine and have it shipped to the victim's address. A police spokesperson told the Wilton Patch website he "did not know immediately if the victim was bald."


— Compiled by Nick Keppler