"Breakfast Club" or "Ferris Bueller"?
Definitely "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" because it features that great singing on the parade float, which I think is everyone's fantasy. In "Breakfast Club," there are too many shots where you can see how cavernous Judd Nelson's nostrils are. I can't handle that. They look like the Holland Tunnel.
Jeremy Piven or David Schwimmer?
I'm going with Piven. He's funny, he's a madman, and his character [on HBO's "Entourage"] is based on my agent, Ari Emanuel. I would say Piven but with a caveat. I choose Piven only if he's sedated with some kind of horse tranquilizer. He can be too much to handle.
Name the seven essential garnishes of a Chicago-style hotdog.
Relish. Mustard. Creamed corn. A shreaded Maxim magazine. WD-40 oil that's been used in a Dodge Dart. Aftershave. Bathroom caulking. That's the way I prefer it.
Cubs or Sox?
Cubs because they haven't had their time. Everyone should get a turn. It's like Pin the Tail on the Donkey at a children's party. Once someone's won, they should be taken out of the game and put in the corner until the slow kid has had a chance.
Which Illinois politician will be indicted next?
[U.S. Rep] Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.). But only because that will make my agent [Rahm's brother, Ari] crazy. And I'll say that he's going to be indicted for something like stealing a birthday cake.
Who was Casmir Pulaski?
Yeah ... uh ... wow. It's incredible that you'd even mention him. I'm pretty sure he shot President Garfield in that train station. [Editor's note: He didn't.]
Cheap Trick or Smashing Pumpkins?
Until someone comes up with a better song than "Surrender," it's going to be Cheap Trick. When "Surrender" changed keys, that's the exact moment I hit puberty.
Matt McGuire is a metromix senior producer.
Originally published May 8, 2006.