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Paula Deen

Subway would've been better off using a cartoon

Subway would've been better off using a cartoon

The Jolly Green Giant never date-raped anyone. And Cap'n Crunch never blew anybody's head off with his blunderbuss. The Geico lizard hasn't yet sneaked into your bedroom and climbed up next to your wife. And the Pillsbury Doughboy never whipped his kids with a stick. My favorite, the creepy Burger King, has returned to TV commercials. Just a few years ago, he entertained his fans by sneaking around a house or bedroom with his maniacal plastic grin. But you never thought he had lust in his heart, and Burger King never grabbed a ball-peen hammer and threatened to split your kneecaps for not paying your gambling debts. Cartoon spokespeople are safe that way. They...

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