Steve Spurrier

South Carolina football Coach Steve Spurrier speaks during the Southeastern Conference's media days last month. (Butch Dill / Associated Press / August 4, 2014)

College football training camps open this week and, frankly, it’s about time somebody hit something besides the lunch buffet.

No other sport in the world (that I can think of) launches its campaign three weeks before it lifts a finger.

South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier calls it “talking season.”

The Southeastern Conference started first (of course) on July 14 when it staged a four-day media marathon in Hoover, Ala.

Commissioner Mike Slive deserves kudos for managing to weave Eisenhower, Churchill, Mandela and (former LSU player) Booger MacFarland into his opening statement.

American Athletic Conference Commissioner Mike Aresco, at his league’s media day in Rhode Island, quoted Abraham Lincoln and then reached even deeper into the well of inspiration.

“I’m reminded of something St. Francis of Assisi said,” Aresco said.

Reminded by whom?

Louisiana State Coach Les Miles always loosens the crowd by talking about his summer vacation with the kids.

“Manny is my eldest son,” Miles said. “He’s pitching and playing football.”

This year’s “summer vacation” led Miles to Austin, where he has a daughter attending the University of Texas.

He complained because there was no beach.

“It was miserable. I hated it,” Miles joked. “But it was great fun.”

Spurrier uses summer to work out his stand-up material. At the SEC's media day he noted Alabama Coach Nick Saban was the best “recruiter” in America.

Some might suggest Saban can coach, too.

Last weekend Spurrier poked the Big Ten when he was asked about a new league rule (starting in 2016) requiring all SEC teams to play at least one non-conference game against the Pac 12, ACC, Big 12 or Big Ten.

Spurrier said he’d rather schedule a game against East Carolina of the AAC than one against a lower-tier Big Ten school.

He was punking you, Purdue.

For what it’s worth: Spurrier, since arriving at South Carolina in 2005, has played sub-division Wofford (twice), South Carolina State, Furman and Coastal Carolina.