SAN DIEGO — I swear I'm not giggling as I type this.
But I just talked to Jamie McCourt's attorney and the Screaming Meanie is upset and she's not going to take it anymore.
Now tell me you aren't giggling.
As you know, she's a loser, Frank paying her $131 million in a divorce settlement while he made off with billions.
Now unless you've walked in her Christian Louboutin shoes, there's probably no way to understand her plight.
But as good as any reality TV show, here we go again, the Screaming Meanie and the Parking Lot Attendant together in court after Jamie files a motion to really get what she deserves.
If only our legal system worked that way.
Jamie believes Frank committed fraud by understating his assets, which he said in documents were less than $300 million, but the old man got away with more than $2 billion.
To prove such an accusation, the Screaming Meanie has asked for all documents related to the Dodgers' sale between Guggenheim and the Parking Lot Attendant.
This includes the very same details Guggenheim has steadfastly refused to publicly divulge.
"Frank signed a document under the penalty of perjury stating the value of his assets was less than $300 million," said Bertram Fields, Jamie's attorney. "But as we understand it now, he received $2.15 billion in addition to retaining 50% ownership in the 276 acres in Chavez Ravine and rental fees from the parking lots."
Keep in mind it takes a lot of money to run for president; a Dodgers executive's plans for Jamie running were sidetracked after Jamie's husband fired her as Dodgers president.
Hillary versus Jamie four years from now with Bill and the chauffeur standing in the wings, and with these people anything is possible.
Unfortunately, I don't think Guggenheim is going to be thrilled to join Frank & Jamie, the 2008 Los Angeles Business Journal's power couple of the year, in court — especially if it means revealing Frank's future role with the Dodgers.
So that would suggest this will end in a financial settlement favoring Jamie.
"Frank is really not a settler," said Fields. "We've already asked for a voluntary adjustment and we got no response.
"So now we're asking for all the documents, and while I'm sure they won't be interested in handing them over, it will be up to the judge."
What judge wouldn't want the chance to have Magic Johnson in his courtroom, not to mention the photo opportunity with Magic and Jamie both claiming to be the face of the Dodgers.
"We need to know what Frank knew and when he knew it," Fields said. "[Frank] is getting about 93% of the family assets and Jamie something like 7%. Jamie didn't want this but we need to know what's in those documents."
You would think Jamie would have just picked up the phone and asked her soothsayer, Vladimir Shpunt, what he sees in those documents.