By Amy Nicholson
May 22, 2013
"The Hangover" franchise comes to an end this week. For the bereaved who long to see the Wolfpack as grandparents, there's "3 Geezers," Michelle Schumacher's competing comedy about a trio of scatologically obsessed septuagenarians (Lou Beatty Jr., Basil Hoffman and Tony Cummings) who thrive on fart jokes, diaper jokes, and rapping to 2 Live Crew. They might look old, but their sense of humor is purely 10th grade.
Young whippersnapper J. Kimball (J.K. Simmons, playing a thinly veiled version of himself) wades into their retirement home to research a role. Indie titan Simmons averages 10 films a year, but his agent should have finally advised him to say no. "3 Geezers" is painful: Simmons tags along doing his best Tim Allen impersonation, which is topped when Tim Allen himself shows up solely so the senior citizens can defecate in his bushes.
Minute for minute, there's more nudity than a supercut of Ken Jeong's "Hangover" villain Mr. Chow, and for those raunchy retirees young enough to remember "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," there's a nod to Phoebe Cates' infamous swimming pool scene where one of the men spots a fellow resident in a red bikini and ducks away for some, um, vigorous private time. (To be fair, 85-year-old Beverly Polcyn has great legs.)
With no plot to speak of, the movie's biggest twist is a closing cameo from "Spider-Man" director Sam Raimi, as the helmer of Kimball's film-within-a-film, who gets to deliver "3 Geezer's" fitting final words: "The whole thing is no good."
No MPAA rating
Running time: 1 hour, 21 minutes
Playing: At Laemmle Music Hall, Los Angeles
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