Jim Shea: Obama and Speaker of the House Ted Cruz Negotiate Pizza

Congressman John Larson is bargaining chip

The scene:

Republican members of Congress have barricaded themselves inside the House chambers, where they are holding hostages: the federal government, and the debt ceiling. The building is surrounded by angry citizens. President Obama has arrived and he and Speaker John Boehner are attempting to negotiate using bullhorns.

P: John, John Boehner, can you hear me?

B: I can hear you, what do you want?

P: I want you to release the federal government, and the economy, and then get back to work.

B: I can't do that.

P: Why not? You know the shutdown was a dumb idea in the first place. Give it up and then we'll talk.

B: I said I can't.

P: Why not?

B: I'm being held hostage, too. The Tea Partiers are afraid if they let me out I'll compromise.

P: What are their demands?

B: I better let the Speaker answer that.

P: Speaker? I thought you were the Speaker.

B: Not anymore. Here, I'll let you talk to Senator Cruz.

P: Senator Cruz, there's no way out of this for you and you know it.

C: We will not negotiate until you first meet all our demands.

P: You know there is no way I'm going to defund the Affordable Care Act.

C: Then forget about the debt ceiling. Hope you don't have a lot of money in a 401k.

P: Why don't we start with something smaller as a show of good faith?

C: What do you have in mind?

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