So, you are an important person and you have been pulled over on suspicion of drinking and driving. You want to get out of it, so you play the big shot card. Here are 10 reasons why you should never say to the police officer, "Do you know who I am?"
1. The police officer has a computer, he already knows who you are.
2. The police officer doesn't care who you are, until you ask if he knows who you are.
3. If you have to ask a police officer if he knows who you are, you are not important enough for it to do you any good anyway.
4. Asking a police officer if he knows who you are is an implied threat.
5. The police officer will make a point of noting that you said, "Do you know who I am?" in his report and the statement will follow you through the judicial process.
6. Prosecutors dislike self-important people as much as police officers.
7. The media loves to write stories about people who ask police officers, "Do you know who I am."
8. The question, "Do you know who I am?" is pretty much an admission of guilt.
9. It is easier for a police officer to give a discretionary break to a nobody than a somebody.
10. To paraphrase Mark Twain: It is better to remain silent and be thought an !&*#@% than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Yale's Missing Squirrels: Whodunit?
The accusation that Yale University had embarked on a campus wide squirrel extermination program over the summer has been vigorously denied by the school. Still, the squirrels are noticeably missing and the mystery remains. Who or what is responsible for Yale's missing squirrels? Some possibilities:
Exploring the Exploratory Committee
Republican Tom Foley announced on Tuesday that he is forming an exploratory committee to help him decide if he should run for governor.