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An open letter to Mick Jagger (and other 73-year old dads-to-be)

An open letter to Mick Jagger (and other 73-year old dads-to-be)

Mick Jagger, please turn off the spigot.

Upon reading the news that you were expecting your eighth child with your fourth wife/companion/partner, at first I was impressed. In your 70s, certain body parts, and their contents, don't always work so, uh, "swimmingly." Nice to know you and your current love, 29-year-old Melanie Hamrick, are still spending the night together and receiving satisfaction.

But greatest hits aside, let's examine the impending life of your still unborn baby and your responsibilities as the father. When the child first enters the world, I expect it to bond with you immediately. Because men of your age typically make three or four bathroom trips...

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