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Miami University

The winner of 'Most Useless College Surveys' is ...

As the self-appointed spokesman for all dads who recently sent their first born off to college, I have a message for whoever is in charge of university rankings:

Please stop.

Our kids are now firmly entrenched in their dorm rooms; classes at most universities are in full swing, football players are already being suspended for various criminal and academic offenses. and we parents have experienced the tears that flow simultaneously as we hug our children goodbye and write our first tuition checks. The latter will occur regularly until at least 2019.

That means we are no longer interested in these ridiculous polls, surveys and questionnaires that make us second guess our...