Say Yes to the Dress

kayla-pongrac

kayla-pongrac (January 25, 2013)

I dipped a bite of French toast into a small puddle of syrup as Krysta flipped through television channels. “Have you ever seen this show?” she asked.

“What is it?”

“It’s called ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’ Basically all these girls . . . try on wedding dresses.”

“I’m not sure it sounds like something I’d watch,” I said.

Krysta handed me the remote and told me that I could change the channel, but we were already two minutes into the “Say Yes to the Dress” episode and admittedly, my curiosity got the best of me.

We watched as Greek-looking brides-to-be tried on dresses in front of an “entourage” that included mothers, cousins, best friends and co-workers. It was pretty lame, especially when one girl started crying when no one in her “entourage” approved of her dress.

“If you like the dress, buy the dress,” I said. “But no, you’re going to stand there and cry.”

Krysta laughed. Apparently I’m one of those people who think that the bimbos on TV can hear me.

“If that were me, I’d just be like, ‘If you guys don’t like my dress, you can close your eyes when I walk down the aisle,’” I said. “Geesh.”

“When you go wedding dress shopping someday, do you think you would take a group of people with you?” she asked.

“I would probably take a few,” I said. “But I’m so cheap that I’ll probably just order my dress off eBay.”

I was kidding. I think.

The latter part of the episode involved all these spoiled girls saying “yes to the dress,” and most of the dresses cost more than $10,000. One girl picked out a dress that cost over $27,000. I can’t even fathom spending that much money on a dress that is worn for only one day. One day! Oh, and one girl purchased three different dresses for her big day. If you ask me, nothing says “I don’t know how to settle” like three dresses. I hope her husband runs fast and far away.

Wedding dress shopping might not be in my immediate future, but I do know that when that day comes, I will try to find a dress within my budget. I’ll only say “yes” to a dress that’s affordable.

If that’s the case, maybe they should make a reality show out of my dress shopping excursions.

I’ll show those spoiled girls that a wedding dress doesn’t need to be beautiful beyond belief. In fact, it can be ugly and ripped and stained and smelly.

I’ll vote to call my show “My Dress is a Mess.” That will be short for “My Dress is a Mess, But My Fiancé Wants to Marry Me Anyway.” They’ll simply have to shorten it as a courtesy for the TV Guide Channel.

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