Twin towers! Crazy hair! Michelle Wie in the stands! No? OK fine, the Bulls should draft Derrick Rose. Be boring.
Welcome to the 2008 NBA Draft, where the Bulls overcame historic odds a little more than a month ago to win the No. 1 pick.
Then this happened, but Rose almost had the shot of the game with his off-balance three-pointer (later changed to a two) late in the second half. And yes, I have the whole game memorized. I think I'm at seven viewings. Completely normal.
The draft combines my two loves: college basketball and making fun of people's clothes. I mean, remember Joakim Noah's ensemble last year? And Karl Malone many moons ago? Oh boy.
I've subscribed to the ESPN Gameplan for the last few years which means I've watched way more basketball than any human should. It would also explain why I've been a hermit the last few winters.
And I retain tons of useless info: UCLA super frosh Kevin Love's uncle is a member of the Beach Boys. USC super forsh O.J. Mayo has a creep moustache. And Eric Gordon has many admirers in the state of Illinois. I even remember when Kelvin Sampson wore only khaki pants and denim shirts.
So I'll be here to document the first round of the draft, which would be the top 30 picks starting with
Comment board is to the side of this column, or on the main ChicagoSports.com page. My email is email@example.com if you'd like to share your draft picks.
Stay tuned. New Yorkers boo David Stern and his announcement that the Bulls have the No. 1 pick. Shocker.
NO. 1 The Bulls select Memphis freshman Derrick Rose. No shock here. He wore No. 23 for the Tigers, but for obvious reasons can't wear it in Chicago. Rose looks sharp in a grey-ish suit with grey and purple stripe tie. At least from my tiny TV on my desk at work. It's the Bulls first No. 1 pick since 1999. His nickname is "Pooh" from his grandma becuase he likes to eat sweets a lot. And it's fun to say. He has "Poohdini" tattooed on his shoulder. Oh my.
Jay Bilas tells us that Rose "can dunk with his elbows." This guy is good! Here comes the interview with the soft-spoken Stephen A. Smith. Nothing doing there. Doris Burke chats with him mom...she's happy he'll be nice and close.
NO. 2 The Miami Heat select Kansas State freshman Michael Beasley. That Pat Riley is sneaky; tons of reports yesterday said Miami had soured on the Big 12 Player of the Year. Guess not. Bilas tells us he's "very bouncy" and can score/rebound in traffic. ESPN followed B-Easy around last week...he said he was going to go shirtless when shaking David Stern's hand. But not. He wore a normal suit. Party pooper.
NO. 3 The Minnesota Timberwolves select USC freshman OJ Mayo. He's sporting a three-piece suit and some tiny glasses. OJ = Ovinton J'Anthony. That's a mouthful. Jeff Van Gundy tells us that Mayo is "very nasty" on the court. Is that a good thing? Mayo becomes the highest Southern Cal player ever drafted (the last one was at No. 10).
NO. 4 The Seattle SuperSonics select UCLA sophomore Russell Westbrook. Kevin Durant, in attendance, claps and smiles. "Finally, someone to pass me the ball!" 2008 Pac-10 Defensive player of the Year is Westbrook. He was fairly quiet his freshman year, averaging 3.4 points per game. But last season he upped that to 12.5 ppg. His UCLA squad was knocked out of the NCAA tourney this season by Rose's Memphis team. It was a pretty solid beatdown.
And no, we don't have an auto-refresh button...it's a whole template issue that we forgot about. So sorry!
NO. 5 The Memphis Grizzlies select UCLA freshman Kevin Love. Back-to-back UCLA picks. Love enjoys the chest pass. Bilas tells us that Love is a "pick and pop" player and is understated as an overall athlete. Love can shoot the three-pointer, and he's a very awkward runner. Love also is sporting the three-piece suit, this one is in navy (Mayo's was a tan-ish color). Love's suit matches his new Memphis hat. Fancy.
The Knicks are on the clock. And their fans are booing.
NO. 6 The New York Knicks select Danilo Gallinari from Italy. Guess how the crowd reacts? His dad played professional ball in Italy with new Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. Gallinari is nicknamed "The Rooster" and he already has his own shoe by Reebok named...wait for it...wait for it...the Rooster. Stephen A. interviews Gallinari: "New York is the best city in the world." (crowd boos, crowd boos) "I just want to try to win." (crowd boos, crowd boos). Well, this is starting well.
NO. 7 The Los Angeles Clippers select Indiana freshman Eric Gordon. He's the fifth freshman taken tonight; he's wearing a white jacket and shirt with black pants. Gordon is 6-3, 222 pounds. But Bilas says he's got an "elongated reach." Gordon was the Big 10 Freshman of the Year and he likes to travel to the Bahamas. And he hates the Illini, no wait, I just made that up. Maybe it will stir controversey on our quiet, quiet message boards. Get enraged people!