Well, they're all actual names of minor league baseball players. And they're all in the running for "Moniker Madness" -- a bracket-style tournament on milb.com that it setting out to determine who has the best name in all of the minors.
Wheeler, as you die-hards already know, is an infielder for the Orioles' Triple-A affiliate in Norfolk. He's only batting .212 for the Tides, but here's his chance to really make a name for himself. (See what I did there?)
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- Zelous Wheeler
- Chicago Cubs
If you're compelled to cast your vote -- or just want to see some of the other names -- the polls for the Round of 32 are open through Monday.
Our boy Zelous will need to defeat Chicago Cubs farmhand (and former Florida State wide receiver) Taiwan Easterling to move on to the next round.