| Mar 4, 2013
When I first received a copy of "The Manager's Phrase Book," I laughed.
I laughed long and hard.
The book is a collection of more than 3,000 canned phrases a manager can use in different situations, rated on sliding scales such as "casual to formal"...
| Feb 4, 2013
When I see a companywide email from the boss, I, like most employees, assume it's an announcement of a promotion —me to senior vice president of awesomeness.
If not that, then perhaps a salacious press release detailing how a co-worker I dislike...
| Jul 29, 2013
In 1971 — the year I was born — Bob Dylan wrote the lyrics to a song that would one day become an inspiration for me, in the workplace and in life.
The song's called "When I Paint My Masterpiece." It was first recorded by The Band, and if...
| Jun 24, 2013
A new study has found that an employee's efficiency increases by more than 200 percent when that person is given the option of sitting in a chair made of milk chocolate.
The study was conducted by me, on behalf of my new company, ChocoChair Inc. (Our...
| Nov 4, 2012
| 7:07 PM
The "I Just Work Here" Internship Program — should such a thing ever exist — would be the gold standard of temporary employment.
First off, as an intern to America's most beloved workplace advice columnist, you'd be given the title "America'...
| Jul 8, 2013
I've been saying for some time that what's missing from rock music are hip workplace references such as "shareholder value," "culture of transparency" and "metrics."
Well, thank God somebody finally listened.
Andrew Mason, who founded Groupon and then...
| Sep 17, 2012
I'm excited for my bosses to read this so they can see what an awesome job I'm doing at column writing and at being handsome and great.
You see, the subject this week is bragging — at which I'm very good — and how it has become a sine qua non...
| Nov 13, 2012
When I was young and naive (approximately 16 months ago), I believed all it took to create a happy workplace were big salaries and free doughnuts.
Turns out, it's a bit more involved. There's this thing called "culture," and the happiest workplaces...
| Sep 24, 2012
A workplace discussion of the differences between men and women can be squirm-inducing.
Fortunately, I was born with squirm-resistant genes and dive into touchy subjects, at least until someone gets angry and I hide under my desk.
Connie Glaser, an...
| Oct 1, 2012
While watching television, the remote control occasionally gets knocked off the couch, presenting an epic quandary.
Do I get up and retrieve the remote, disrupting my carefully crafted "comfort zone?" Or do I wait for a family member — or a...
| Aug 20, 2012
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way responsible for the content of this column. Any errors, overstatements or outright fabrications are entirely the fault of editors, saboteurs or readers.
Now then, let's talk about accountability.
In the past decade, the...