| Oct 7, 2013
This is the process I go through when I receive a voice mail:
2. Consider ignoring it.
3. Become overwhelmed by guilt.
4. Press "voice mail" button.
5. Forget password.
6. Try again.
7. Listen to voice mail.
8. Sigh, louder.
| Oct 14, 2013
I enjoy power tools that go "VRRRROOMMMMM!!!" and hitting things with hammers, but that doesn't make me a handyman.
I learned that quickly after becoming a homeowner. There are jobs I can do — painting, minor bits of plumbing, light carpentry...
| Aug 26, 2013
People in the working world love to pat themselves on the back for a job well done, even if it turns out the job isn't finished. It's a part of the workplace mindset — we see a problem, we address the problem, we say "hooray!" and we move on,...
| Apr 15, 2013
| 2:44 PM
You often hear people say that when the job market is bad, it's a good idea to go back to school and boost your academic credentials.
I have disregarded that advice because I fear it might interfere with my TV watching, but many folks — whether...
| Jun 24, 2013
A new study has found that an employee's efficiency increases by more than 200 percent when that person is given the option of sitting in a chair made of milk chocolate.
The study was conducted by me, on behalf of my new company, ChocoChair Inc. (Our...
| Nov 4, 2012
| 7:07 PM
The "I Just Work Here" Internship Program — should such a thing ever exist — would be the gold standard of temporary employment.
First off, as an intern to America's most beloved workplace advice columnist, you'd be given the title "America'...
| Jul 8, 2013
I've been saying for some time that what's missing from rock music are hip workplace references such as "shareholder value," "culture of transparency" and "metrics."
Well, thank God somebody finally listened.
Andrew Mason, who founded Groupon and then...
| Jul 15, 2013
I didn't give any college commencement addresses this year. Administrators probably assumed I had already been scooped up by the biggies — Harvard, Yale, The Iowa School for the Perpetually Perplexed — and didn't bother to ask.
| Jul 22, 2013
I spend most of my days toiling in the fields of workplace discontent, hoisting the yoke of America's office imbroglios, looking up fancy words and praying I don't run out of hyperbolic ways to describe my job.
But this week I take a break from the...
| Feb 18, 2013
(Editor's note: The CBS reality series "The Job" was canceled after this column had already gone to press. We are certain it was a coincidence. And that's all we have to say about that.)
Early in the first episode of the new CBS reality show "The Job,"...
| Oct 8, 2012
I feel sorry for jobs.
We ask a lot of them. They have to be fulfilling, flexible, challenging, well-paying and fun. They are a part of our lives as much as any friend or spouse, yet we constantly bad-mouth them and use them as scapegoats for life's...