Running off at the typewriter …
If Tryptophan could talk: "You think I cause people to fall asleep over the Thanksgiving weekend? Have you seen the Gators offense?!" … But, seriously, if Florida can beat Florida State today, the Gators still have a puncher's chance to play for the national championship. Unfortunately for UF fans, their offense is punchless and will not score a touchdown today. Prediction: FSU 3, UF 2 … In other games, Mikey likes: UCF over UAB by 24, Miami over Duke by 2 (years of probation), USC over Notre Dame by 3 in Upset Special, Michigan over Ohio State by 8, Georgia over Georgia Tech by 6, Climpson over South Carolina by 10, Bucs over Falcons by 2 in Upset Special II, Titans over Baguars by 7, Seahawks over Dolphins by 3, Packers over Giants by 5, Glen "Big Baby" Davis over last leftover turkey leg by breakfast. …
Since the Magic aren't doing so well this season, fans need to adopt this new rallying cry: "At least we didn't trade for Andrew Bynum!" … From one of sports radio's Bantering Idiots: "Why won't Tim Tebow get married? Because he'd have to throw a reception!" … On this Thanksgiving weekend, I'm thankful for friends and family, but mainly for the Red Zone Channel. … And, oh, yeah, I'm also thankful the Baguars aren't in Orlando. … And can you believe a Central Florida couple waited seven days outside of a Best Buy on East Colonial to go shopping on Black Friday? They walked out of the store with three Toshiba 40-inch flat-screen televisions, one Toshiba 50-inch flat-screen TV, a Nintendo 3DS, two Samsung Galaxy Tab tablets and an invitation to the Big Ten. … Are the Tennessee Volunteers really delusional enough to think Jon Gruden will be their next head coach? Geez, I'm not so sure they could land Jay Gruden as their next coach. … Question for UT fans: If your job is so attractive then why did Derek Dooley have it in the first place? …
Earlier this week, as I tried to book a hotel in Tallahassee for Florida-Florida State game, there was actually a Springhill Suites charging $499 per night. Maybe this is why so many football fans choose not to attend games anymore. You need a home-equity loan just to pay for your hotel on a football weekend. Then again, who has equity in their home anymore? … Still can't believe the Miami Hurricanes, as another mediocre season comes to a close, are trying to head off the NCAA at the pass by self-imposing a bowl ban. Good grief, there should be a new NCAA rule: If you're going to a second- or third-tier bowl, you can't self-impose a postseason ban. In other words, the NCAA should MAKE you go to the Beef O'Brady's Bowl. Let's face it, some bowl games aren't a reward; they're a sentence. … Jay Leno: "The economy is so bad, I saw Phil Jackson holding a sign: 'Will coach for food.' " …
Did you see where protest groups against President Obama are calling for their states to secede from the union? Who do these people think they are — Big East members? … True story: On Thanksgiving Day I witnessed a bunch of kids playing tag — not outside in the yard but inside on their iPad. And you wonder why we have a childhood obesity problem in this country. Hey, anybody got an app for hide-and-seek?! … From the Bradenton Herald: A Manatee County man was in a car with three so-called friends the other day when one of them pulled a knife on him, took his money, beat him up and kicked him out of the car naked. Geez, that's almost as bad as what Dwight Howard did to Magic fans. … Did Maryland bolt the ACC or did the ACC boot them out for their bad uniforms? …
Can't say that I'm surprised Danica Patrick is getting a divorce. You knew sooner or later her marriage was going to hit the wall. Will she wear her HANS Device to sign the divorce papers? … The only things certain in life: (1) Death. (2) Taxes. (3) Auburn being investigated by the NCAA. … Last word: New NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Brad Keselowski on chugging Miller Lite in victory lane after clinching the title at Homestead: "It was great, man. People love beer. I can be a big [expletive], but, at the end of the day, people still love beer."
Don't forget, you can click on OrlandoSentinel.com and read the wildly popular Open Mike blog and interactive extravaganza to get my freshest takes on what's happening in the world of sports. Here's a blog item I wrote about whether the winner of the Florida State-Florida game deserves to play for the national championship:
How big is the Florida-Florida State game now?
Big enough to decide who goes to the BCS national title game?
With Oregon and Kansas State both losing last weekend and the resulting BCS chaos that ensued, it could happen.
Think about it: What if Florida beats Florida State Saturday and Notre Dame, the lone unbeaten left, loses to USC? That could easily set up an all-Southeastern Conference matchup between the Gators and the winner of the Alabama-Georgia SEC Championship Game. Are the Gators national championship-worthy? I don't think they're even close to being the best team in the country, but you can't deny that they have the most impressive resume of all the one-loss teams. Their schedule is the toughest in the country and — if they beat FSU — they would have four victories over top 12 opponents.
And what if Florida State blows out Florida on Saturday (which could certainly happen)? Wouldn't the 1-loss Seminoles — even though they lost to a mediocre North Carolina State team and have played a weak ACC and nonconference schedule (other than Florida) — at least have an argument to play in the national title game? OK, so it's a small argument, but it's still an argument.
The fact is that when Oregon and Kansas State went down last Saturday night, Florida-Florida State became even bigger than usual.
Does the winner of Florida-Florida State deserve to play for the national title?
My initial reaction to this question is "no", but, then again, who knows what might happen in the final week of this whacked-out season?
Most interesting reader retorts, radio rabble, tangy Tweets and message-board mockery of the week:
On whether Will Muschamp is the sexiest coach in college football: "More like the scariest coach in college football."
On Florida's bad offense: "It's Ron Zook's fault!"
On Jimbo Fisher saying coaches should be given more input on who plays for the national championship: "This is like saying foxes should be given more input on who guards the henhouse."
In honor of the Thanksgiving weekend, three of my favorite quotes about Turkey Day:
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in the neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." – Jon Stewart
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." – Kevin James
"Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare, but are consumed in 12 minutes. Halftimes take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence." – Erma Bombeck
firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @BianchiWrites. Listen to his radio show every weekday from 6 to 9 a.m. on 740 AM