99 problems, Cubs-style

Wrigley Field turns 99 this year, so we've got 99 things the Cubs need to do before they return to glory. (Terrence Antonio James/Tribune)

The pieces aren't in place yet for the Cubs, but the plan is and so is the braintrust. Whether Tom Ricketts, Theo Epstein and Dale Sveum will succeed remains a mystery, and the fact is there's more to be done. A lot more.

So on the cusp of Wrigley Field's 99th birthday, RedEye presents 99 things the Cubs need to do before they can return to glory.

99. Win the World Series. Duh.

98. Make Carlos Marmol go bye bye.

97. Tell the rooftop owners to go pound sand. And do it publicly.

96. Prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Theo Epstein is not a robot.

95. Stop signing players named "Scott."

94. Let fans participate in the annual spring training bunting contest.

93. Reward your incredibly patient fans by doing something wonderful for them.

92. And no, a Dale Sveum bobblehead night does not count as "something wonderful."

91. No more statues unless it's one commemorating a World Series title.

90. And yes, I do mean a Cubs World Series title.

89. Hire that young upstart John McDonough away from the Blackhawks.

88. Give Steve Bartman four season tickets for life. Don't make it public.

87. Find a way to bring Sammy Sosa back. And not in a Fredo Corleone sort of way.

86. Keep demanding more than just nickel and dime additions to Wrigley Field.

85. Move out for a year if needed and get it ALL done, or find a new home.

84. Should that home be in Rosemont? Don't be stupid. The Cubs can be cheesy, but not that cheesy.

83. Create a promotion called "Bill Murray's Groundhog Day" and then do it every year. With the same teams and, in a perfect world, the same fans.

82. Let kids run the bases after every game.