Enter to win every day in CTNOW's 21 Days of Summer Giveaways. Click here to see today's prize.
CT Now

'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' review: Give this captain the hook

** (out of four)

Since you can't remember what happened in the last overlong "Pirates" movie, 2007's "At World's End," it's a good thing that "On Stranger Tides" doesn't require it. Nope, just plop into Captain Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp) latest adventure: the search for the fountain of youth, which may have been done in just one or 20 movies before.

The buzz: When a franchise needs a kick in the booty—and, especially after Depp admitted parts two and three made no sense to him either, there's no denying this series does—it's smart to bring along people like Ian McShane (as Blackbeard) and Penelope Cruz (as Jack’s ex-lover, Angelica). As for putting the film in the hands of director Rob Marshall ("Nine," "Chicago"), um, a pirate dance number might not hurt?

The verdict: For a change, this "Pirates" makes sense. That's all that can be said for a movie whose tides are neither strange nor high nor low. The not-funny, not-exciting "On Stranger Tides" settles in the middle like a job meant only to be executed, not successfully achieved, resulting in a sort of half-hearted imitation of fun. (When deadly mermaids don't even register, aye feel desensitized, not to mention numb enough to make stupid pirate jokes like that.) It's like the last season of a TV show that's gone on too long, except there are still more seasons/movies to come. Plank, I’m ready when you are.

Did you know? Jack notes that Angelica has awfully impressive technique for a woman who claims to have been corrupted by the legendary pirate. Clearly she’s just a quick learner?

Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7 a.m. on WCIU, the U


Copyright © 2015, CT Now
Related Content
  • Shrug-worthy new movies

    Shrug-worthy new movies

    'Southpaw,' 'Paper Towns,' 'Unexpected,' 'Irrational Man,' 'Trainwreck,' 'Self/less,' 'The Tribe,' 'Ted 2,' 'Infinitely Polar Bear,' 'Eden,' 'Inside Out,' 'Dope,' 'The Wolfpack,' 'Heaven Knows What,' 'Jurassic World,' 'Testament of Youth,' 'Live From New York,' 'San Andreas,' 'Tomorrowland,' 'Lambert...

  • Hot Hollywood interviews

    Hot Hollywood interviews

    The most memorable quotes from our latest movie Q&As, including Cobie Smulders, Amy Schumer, Vanessa Bayer, Mike Birbiglia, Colin Quinn/Dave Attell, Jada Pinkett Smith, Adam Scott, Thomas Mann/Olivia Cooke/RJ Cyler, Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, Paul Feig, John Cusack/Brian Wilson, Ethan Hawke, Aubrey Peeples,...

  • Good movies to rent now

    Good movies to rent now

    See what recent DVD releases are worth your time and money. Don't rent? Check out the newest movies to stream here.Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye's Facebook page. 

  • Best new movies

    Best new movies

    Reviews of recent favorites like 'Ant-Man,' 'Amy,' 'Magic Mike XXL,' 'The Overnight,' 'Me and Earl and the Dying Girl,' 'Results,' 'Love & Mercy,' 'Spy,' 'Mad Max: Fury Road,' 'Welcome to Me,' 'Clouds of Sils Maria,' 'While We're Young,' 'Woman in Gold,' 'Insurgent,' 'It Follows,' 'The Hunting...

  • Worst new movies

    Worst new movies

    The recent awfulness we've seen, like 'Vacation,' 'Pixels,' 'The Gallows,' 'Terminator Genisys,' 'Entourage,' 'Aloft,' 'Aloha,' 'Pitch Perfect 2,' 'Hot Pursuit,' 'The D Train,' 'The Squeeze,' 'The Longest Ride,' 'Get Hard,' 'Serena,' 'Cinderella,' 'Run All Night,' 'The Lazarus Effect,' 'Hot Tub...

  • New England Food Truck Festival

    New England Food Truck Festival

  • Hartford Handsome

    Hartford Handsome

  • Craft Brew Race 5K

    Craft Brew Race 5K