I’ve got good news and bad news: the bad news, as you may have noticed, is that the daily posts on Off the Markley have now come to an end. The good news for any fans who’ve stuck around even after I told the world I hate dogs, Michael Jackson, and old people’s naked bodies, is that you will have ample opportunities in the future to read my work.
I will continue as a columnist for RedEye with a new column roughly every two weeks. They’ll appear in the paper as well as on this site, so you don’t have to change your browser’s bookmarks. However, a column is a very different animal than Off the Markley posts. Intended for Monday morning commuters and limited to 525 words, a column is a carefully calibrated sliver of what’s usually churning in my brain. I can’t exactly go off on a wordcount-shattering tangent about the evils of carbon pollution or the situation in Syria, in other words.
While these years of Off the Markley have been a blast, it’s a hell of a lot of work for (basically) no money. This summer I’ll be making some rather big changes (more on this later), which are going to require massive quantities of my time, attention, and psychic energy. So no, this is not just because I went to Wrigleyville after the Blackhawks win and drank to incoherence (and also saw a guy try to put his mouth inside the mouth of a police horse—incredible).
On the horizon, however, there will be a book of essays, Tales of Ecuador, and potentially an Off the Markley compilation that will collect some of my favorite columns from over the years (and by the way, if you’re a frequent reader, please write, tweet, or Facebook me to recommend which ones I should include).
Eventually, at some point, one way or the motherfucking other, there will be a novel.
If you are indeed a frequent Off the Markley reader (I know there are a few of you), I just want to use this space to say, sincerely, thank you for clicking, and thank you even more for reading. There’s basically nothing I enjoy more in life than sex drugs food alcohol hoops writing, and the only reason I get to do that is because there are a few people out there who appreciate my take on shit and the way I turn a phrase here and there. And shit.
All I ask is that you not stop now. Keep telling people there’s this weird, funny fucking writer from the Midwest, who in the midst of talking out of his ass a lot, occasionally writes something that makes you laugh, think, or feel, and you discovered him way back when.
On that note.