Excitement or Extortion? A Guide to Gifting

May 17, 2013

It's random present-giving season or, as Chaucer put it, "'Tis spring, when small birds make melodies and invitations to sendeth gifties doth impregnate already swollen mailboxes."

Excitement or Extortion? A Guide to Gifting

May 17, 2013

Nature Is Best Viewed From The Deck

May 2, 2013

Unless they're asking for spare change, people are willing to engage in conversations with folks they haven't met before for one reason: Perfect strangers are far more likely to be charmed by our adorable eccentricities than are our loved ones. Their willingness to listen without sighing or twitching is what makes strangers perfect.

Women Shouldn't Use Men For Measure

April 18, 2013

Imagine hearing the phrase: "Wow, you're just like one of the boys!" Then imagine hearing the phrase: "Wow, you're just like every other woman!"

Growing Up With Annette And Margaret

April 9, 2013

Although they represented the opposite poles of femininity — the intimidating, well-respected and unyielding Iron Lady vs. the adorable, well-beloved and sassy Cutie Pie — both Margaret Thatcher and Annette Funicello shaped my universe growing up.

What If Wise Women Wrote Commandments?

April 4, 2013

While it's been lovely listening to the patriarchs from the Pentateuch (all of whom will forever look and sound like Charlton Heston to Americans of a certain age) lay down the law for the last several thousand years, it's time to imagine what the Old Testament matriarchs might have said.

A Feminist Looks Down From The Penthouse

March 21, 2013

A new book suggests that ambitious women should "lean in" to achieve success.

Social Networks Like Going Back To High School

March 7, 2013

Social networking makes teenagers of us all. Lots of my ridiculously successful friends — some of whom appear regularly on television, give TED talks and are the kind of people who get harassed in restaurants by their fans (while my fans remain remarkably good-mannered and never, ever come over to introduce themselves or say a word) — will still not permit themselves to have a Facebook account because the thought of people unfriending them is terrifying.

'Just Friends' And Other Lies

February 21, 2013

You put away the Valentine's candy and put on the Valentine's pounds. Now it's time to face The Six Truths About Relationships That Nobody Ever Admits:

Peekaboo — Let The Good Times In

February 7, 2013

We all enter this world crying. Laughter is something we have to learn.

Here's The Answer — Don't Give Men Guns

January 24, 2013

When we look at the acts of almost unspeakable gun violence making news and breaking hearts, it doesn't take Rachel Maddow or Wayne LaPierre to target the fact that men are responsible. We don't need to hit the archives for historical documentation. What we need to do is this: We need to stop selling guns to men.

Don't Let Peplum Ruffle Your Fashion Choice

January 11, 2013

Quick: when you see the phrase "Don peplums," do you think the second word should be capitalized because you assume it's a proper noun, as in Don Corleone?

Things We Women Will Not Say in 2013

December 28, 2012

Forget about the usual resolutions, my friends: Forget about losing 15 pounds, alphabetizing your underwear, or whatever else you're half-heartedly promising yourself you'll do this year.

Five People To Cross Off Your Holiday List

December 13, 2012

The secret to life is that there is no secret. In heaven they ask you to explain all the times you missed an opportunity to find joy.

Brad Pitt Selling Perfume? Truly, End Is At Hand

November 29, 2012

Forget the Mayan calendar: Brad Pitt's commercial for Chanel No. 5 is a sign of the impending apocalypse. Have you seen it? Pitt looks like Gen. George Custer right before his last stand.

So Much For An Officer And A Gentleman

November 15, 2012

When David Petraeus' admirers refer to him as one of the nation's most distinguished and venerable military leaders, why do I get the sense that what they really mean is that he'd never be dishonorable enough to lie to a man?

Perky TV Ad Lady Does It All, While The Rest Of Us Make Do

November 1, 2012

I've been seeing an ad recently where a perky little woman is doing absolutely everything: She's coming back from working all day at an office to cook her kids a hot meal at home, then running off to load a gigantic pallet of canned goods, or maybe hair-care products (you can't really tell from the ad), for distribution by FEMA. The television commercial informs us that this is part of her busy yet balanced life as a productive, working, devoted mom who is also committed to giving back to her local community.

Bad Boyfriend — A Debt With Lifetime Interest

October 18, 2012

"Having an unresolved Bad Boyfriend issue is like carrying around old credit card debt." That's what I tell a friend who is having these issues.

Women Are Funny, That's No Joke

October 4, 2012

Get your pen, keyboard or tattoo gun, everybody, and please write this down: Women are funny and always have been.

Exciting Times For Favorite Political Animals

September 6, 2012

Everybody seems to agree that politics is going to the dogs. All we have left to decide is how the dogs would vote.

Politics Worse Than Ants At Family Picnics

August 23, 2012

Because it's open season on the presidential election and almost the end of summer vacation, inflammatory rhetoric and family barbecues are both on "sizzle." Without careful monitoring by an attentive host, these can end in a conflagration. You have to learn precisely how to gauge temperatures and when to put a lid on it.

Duct Tape Makes Leap From Toolbox To Toybox

August 9, 2012

Things were different when I was kid. Solicitous adults did not gently inquire of children "Are you happy?" after giving them something nice (an ice-cream cone, a college education, a car). Instead, when I was a kid, surly adults demanded to know "Are you happy NOW?" after something terrible happened (your ice-cream cone fell into the gutter, you failed sophomore math, you moved into the trunk of your car).

We've Got To Have Friends For All Times

July 26, 2012

Everybody believes her own friendships are endowed with a kind of secret significance. When we're with our friends, we believe that we are in extraordinary company. Making us feel rare and prized, our friends capture our imagination and offer us perspective. Appearing almost ghostlike as figures from our past or arriving like ingenues in a Broadway play, they serve to remind us not only who we are, but also why we're significant.