Angry Birds just sad over those parent Rovio is pushing from nest

Oscar Mayer turkey bacon recalled … as not much like real bacon. #MarginCall

Rovio Entertainment, the company behind the mobile game Angry Birds, plans to lay off as many as 260 employees. Birds are transitioning from angry to bargaining over severance and eventually will move on to depression, then acceptance.

Rovio's CEO said it must become "leaner and more agile" and restructure. As is, Angry Birds aficionados must suspect a well-aimed slingshot could topple the whole thing.

Kraft Heinz is recalling more than 2 million pounds of Oscar Mayer turkey bacon because of inaccurate "best if used by" dates. It's also recalled as no more like real bacon than packing peanuts are peanuts.

The mayor of Warren, Mich., wants to ban personal flamethrowers in his city, but opponents argue this would violate their Second Amendment rights. Not to mention the right to caramelize their creme brulee from 20 paces.

First they come for the personal flamethrowers, then it's the lighters and matches, so only the bad guys will be packing heat. That's the argument, right?

President Obama says retired Yankee Derek Jeter hustled him at golf in November. Politico reports that Obama told a fundraiser crowd Jeter got a 30-stroke edge after posing as a novice, then tore up the course. Don't know how much this cost Obama, but bet the IRS does.

Burger King, co-opting next month's Peace Day, has placed ads urging McDonald's to join it in putting out a Whopper-Big Mac mashup. Comparing real war to so-called burger wars is an example of Arch humor.

It's not as though Burger King really needs McDonald's cooperation. It has peddled Big King and other Big Mac knockoffs periodically since the 1990s. Evidence points to Hamburglar being on the BK payroll.

John and Emmett Clair of the Acme Packing Co. were granted an American Professional Football Association franchise 94 years ago Thursday. Membership was revoked briefly for using ringers in a non-league game, accused, some say by George Halas. But the Packers and what's now the NFL worked it out.


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