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Heinz, Kraft gang up, new direction for One Direction member and more

Will “King Tut” be with us forever? #MarginCall

Condiment king H.J. Heinz's takeover of Kraft Foods — home to Oscar Mayer, Miracle Whip, Kool-Aid, Velveeta, Jell-O, Capri Sun and, of course, mac & cheese — says one thing: It wants your kid's lunch money.

Even if a Heinz-Kraft merger isn't blocked on antitrust grounds, isn't there a law against putting ketchup and hot dogs together?

Kudos to Walgreens for finally abandoning "Be well" as a robotic, all-purpose send-off for customers. "Good luck with that rash!" is so much more personal.

Among the latest 25 "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant" audio selected for the Library of Congress' National Recording Registry is Steve Martin's 1978 "A Wild and Crazy Guy" comedy album. About time someone ensured "King Tut" is preserved for all time.

Sing it fast, three times: Is Zayn Malik's defection from One Direction an insurrection over whose selection of what direction One Direction goes?

The BBC reports a 2-year-old girl in India has set a new national record in archery. Her proud father couldn't be braver.

Google reps have had about 230 White House visits with top officials, or roughly one a week, since President Barack Obama took office, The Wall Street Journal reports. That's more than 10 times the visits from Comcast, but not even Biden would wait from 8 a.m. to noon.

Wells Fargo is laying off more than 1,100 workers, mostly in Wisconsin, because it says the improved economy means there are fewer delinquent and distressed borrowers to service. Give or take 1,100.

Good news for Chase credit card users unable to buy three-day Lollapalooza passes because of what the bank called a "systems issue." Chase is waiving its "systems issue" fee.

Dr. Jonas Salk announced 62 years ago Thursday his polio vaccine had been successful on 90 adults and children. After more tests, the drug was cleared for public use, a good thing unless you're pro-polio.

Twitter @phil_rosenthal

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