A Man's Take On Romance

I am reading "The 2003 Harlequin Romance Report." (The only word to describe some of the things they make me do around here is - unspeakable.)

I'm not exactly sure what a Harlequin Romance is.

I assume it has something to do with harlots.

The Romance Report contains all kinds of surveys and statistics about how women view things like dating and relationships.

Some of it's kind of interesting:

For example, I didn't know that a lot of women separate men into two groups - Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now.

Some of it's kind of obvious:

I mean, does anyone who has ever been to Canada doubt for a second that Canadian women would be more reluctant than American women to go on a blind date?

And some of it's kind of a no-brainer:

Q: If you like the person, but he/she isn't a good kisser, you:

a. Dump him/her.

b. Give him/her a lesson.

c. Wait for the right moment and try again.

d. Skip the preliminaries and go right to third base.

(OK, so I made up d.)

Another part of the Romance Report features a Q&A with Dr. Gilda, a relationship expert.

The problem with Dr. Gilda's advice is that it's directed solely at women.

Why she chooses to ignore the other 50 percent of the relationship equation is beyond me.

Maybe she thinks men don't read Harlequin Romance novels, which is absurd. The average male will read the entire encyclopedia if there is a possibility it contains even a single page devoted to harlotry.

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