So I guess we're not going to be getting that $500 a month Linda's been promising in her campaign ads. Brandi from Naugatuck must be devastated.
What happened to our money?
To come up with the six-grand-a-year figure, Linda's people relied on such things as possible future tax hikes, incorrect tax brackets, a bit of overstating here and there, and a middle-class income of $125,000 a year.
I'm not sure who created the ad for Linda, but I'll bet he was in car sales before moving into politics.
The Courant's Matt Kauffman, who vetted the ad, rated it as "significantly misleading."
In new ads, look for Linda to offer to give each of us $6,000.
I'll tell ya, it's getting so you can't believe anything you see in campaign ads anymore.
Susan Bysiewicz began airing an attack ad accusing Chris Murphy of being the top recipient of "hedge-fund" campaign contributions in Congress. But Murphy's camp claims that in arriving at that determination, the Bysiewicz folks mixed up Congressman Chris Murphy with former Congressman Scott Murphy of New York. An easy mistake to make, Murphys all tend to look alike.
As it now stands, Bysiewicz is accusing Chris Murphy of being just the top recipient of "Wall Street" money, a distinction I'm sure makes everyone feel better.
Meanwhile, Chris Shays is using a Seinfeld plot in an on-line ad (not that there's anything wrong with that).
The clip is from the Seinfeld episode in which George and Jerry decide to do a television show about nothing. He compares this to Linda's campaign.
This started me thinking about what other Seinfeld shows might have campaign ad potential.
The Parking Garage: Where the gang wanders aimlessly around a parking garage because they forgot where they left the car.
The Pez Dispenser: Where Elaine bursts out laughing in the middle of a serious recital.
The Opposite: Where George enjoys great success by doing the opposite of what his instincts tell him to do.
The Whale: Where George saves the distressed whale by removing a golf ball from its blow hole and recounts his experience beginning with: "The ocean was angry that day, my friend, like an old man sending back soup at the deli."
Royalty Checks: Where Jerry gets hundreds of royalty checks from an appearance in Japan, all for 12 cents each.
And, of course: Yada-Yada-Yada.
Of Running Mates and Running from Tax Returns
Anxious to get people talking about anything other than his tax returns, or lack thereof, the Romney campaign has been hinting that the naming of a running mate may happen at any moment.
The campaign tired this before a few weeks ago, but even the cable pundits weren't buying Condi Rice. This time around such names as Pawlenty, Portman, and Jindal are being floated. If one of these types gets the nod, it will only distract for a few days before people start drifting back to the tax return thing. What Romney needs is a veep candidate who will keep folks occupied for months.
Here are a few possibilities.
Sarah Palin: Worked last time, who says you can't catch lightening (rod) in a bottle twice.
Chuck Norris: Anybody got a problem with that?
Lady GaGa: Genius at attracting attention.
Josh Beckett: Get this guy out of Boston, and Romney might carry New England.
Joe Lieberman: Because it's gotten to be a tradition.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Experienced, currently playing a veep on television.
Queen Of The Tin Foil Helmets
I'm happy to report that the nation's favorite crazy lady, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, has taken her game to new levels of paranoia.
In this latest episode of her long-running affinity for repeating anything anyone tells her, she is claiming the government has been infiltrated by the Muslim Brotherhood, and that one of Hillary Clinton's top aides, Huma Abedin, is part of the conspiracy.
Defending Abedin, Sen. John McCain said, "These attacks on Huma have no logic, no basis, and no merit." Of course, McCain could have been talking about anything Her Wackiness has said in the last five or 10 years.
Among those who have also chastised Bachmann is her former campaign manager, Ed Rollins:
"I am fully aware that she sometimes has difficulty with her facts," Rollins said, "but this is downright vicious and reaches the late Sen. Joe McCarthy level."
What is kind of frightening is Bachmann keeps getting re-elected, which makes you wonder just how fashionable tin foil caps may be in Minnesota's 6th Congressional District.
The Weak in Tweet
Actor Fred Willard caught with pants down, arrested in porn theater. His next movie, I'm not making this up, is called "The Yank."
Fred Willard update, his character's name in "The Yank," is Peter.
What's wrong with this picture? New president of the AARP Connecticut Chapter is 39.
Advice for Linda McMahon: Have H&R Block do your taxes, you can sit right there while they do it.
Goats, Chickens Seized From New Haven Apartment ... tell me you can resist reading the story ...
Autocorrect ain't nothing to duck with. (retweet Men's Humor)
Just read some of the comments on the guy shooting bear story ... Now I remember why I don't read comments.
My new favorite word: breasturants.
Song of the Weak
"Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" by Looking Glass
Read Jim Shea's blog at http://www.courant.com/tooshea, follow him at @jimboshea, and watch his television commentaries on Fox CT.