Perry Does Texas Two-Step In Connecticut

Visited Stated Trying To Lasso Local Businesses

Gov. Rick Perry was in Connecticut last week touting all the advantages of doing business in Texas, which seem to be:

You don't have to pay taxes.

You don't have to pay employees.

And don't have to pay attention to any of those pesky government regulations.

It sounded just swell. The only disadvantage I could see was, well, you have to live in Texas.

Texas is a lot different from Connecticut. Moving there will require cultural adjustments akin to resettling in a different country. For all those who will be following Gov. Perry back to the Lone Star State, here are a few things to know about your new home.

Size Matters

Texas is big, really big. It is larger than all of New England, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Illinois combined, and is the second most populous state after California (which doesn't include cattle, of which there are some 16 million.)

Brewster, the largest county in Texas, is larger than Connecticut, and the King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island.

Texas Has Some Strange Local Laws

In Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

In Texas, it is illegal to milk another person's cow (That may be illegal here, too.)

In Texas, it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (Another reason it is always better to be on the ground floor.)

In Texas, it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (I don't know how they enforce this.)

In Texas, it is Illegal to indecently expose yourself or swear in front of a corpse. (OK, I can see where flashing a corpse would be unacceptable, but swearing?)

In Texas, it is illegal to emit obnoxious odors while in an elevator. (I'd have to check but I believe they hang you for that.)

Texas Is Home To A Lot Of Weather Extremes

The highest temperature ever recorded in Texas was 120 degrees, the lowest minus 23.

Texas averages 139 tornadoes a year, most in the United States.

Texas is dry, its latest drought being the worst since 1789.

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