Release Of The Week: 'Snakes On A Plane'

January 4, 2007

By SUSAN DUNNE, The Hartford Courant

It's impossible for anyone aware of pop-culture phenomena to approach "Snakes on a Plane" without preconceived notions, positive, negative or neutral. If you're a member of its online, pre-release fan community, you'll think it's gonna rock. If you're not, you'll just wonder what the big deal is. If the thought of the nameless masses interfering in the production of a movie annoys you, you'll want to hate it.

The movie neither rocks nor is it a big deal, but it's not terrible enough to hate. There are at least a dozen fun, funny or tense moments, but it's also pacing-challenged and not scary enough, especially stretched out over 108 minutes, at least 20 longer than it merits.

The story, written by Hartford guy John Heffernan - and rewritten by seemingly anybody with a modem and too much time on his hands - focuses on a witness to a gangland murder in Hawaii who must be flown, accompanied by fed Samuel L. Jackson, to Los Angeles to testify against the gang lord. That lord smuggles hundreds of attack-hungry snakes onto the plane, to panic the passengers and crew and bring the plane down.

The clichés are numerous: the timer ticking off seconds until terror begins, the stewardess on her last flight before quitting, the gratuitous sex in the lavatory, the nameless passengers dying first. There's also the ultimate hackneyed plea: "Is there anyone here who knows how to fly a plane?," followed by the emergence of an unlikely rescuer.

Plot holes are glaring. It is never explained why the witness must fly to L.A. when the murder happened in Hawaii, or why, if the goal was to crash the plane, the lord didn't just smuggle a bomb instead of relatively unreliable reptiles.

Of course, if logic was honored there'd be no movie, and if it is directed with flair, the suspension of disbelief and the trite plot points become part of the fun. However, David R. Ellis shows little dexterity. The charismatic Jackson tries his best, but can't overcome the story's flaws or the often-intrusive soundtrack, which at times seems to dictate the emotions we're supposed to be feeling, but aren't.

SNAKES ON A PLANE. 2006 thriller directed by David R. Ellis, written by John Heffernan and Sebastian Gutierrez, from a story by Heffernan and David Dallesandro. Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Juliana Margulies. 108 minutes. Rated R for frightening images, violence, bad language and one sexual scene. New Line Home Entertainment, $28.98. Includes making-of featurette, music videos, deleted scenes, blooper reel and "Snakes on a Blog" fan reel.

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