You. Yeah, you. The one still twiddling your thumbs, hoping a great V-Day date idea falls out of the sky and saves you from a holiday-induced breakup. Or maybe you're single and contemplating a night home alone, doused in self-pity and quarts of Ben & Jerry's. C'mon, people: Don't let this happen to you. Read on, then get off your duff and get romantic, already.
The couple who laughs together
If you and your sweetie are secure in your relationship (and ready to look back at those early, drama-filled days and laugh), snag tickets to "Improvidate," a two-act mashup of comedy and romance on dating, sex and love. Go ahead, rib your honey about the time she called you her ex's name; audience participation's encouraged. 8 p.m. Tuesday. $15-$20.
Don't get mad; get flirty
Soured on the whole sap-soaked mess? Sure, Love Stinks, but you could still meet someone with whom to spend the evening (or at least eight minutes). Chat up other unattached cynics at this boozy bash featuring appetizers, and unlimited beer and wine. 8:30 p.m. Tuesday. $50.
Something sweet, something salty
OK, so you're really, really down on relationships, and the only thing that'll make life better is fried food. Lots and lots of fried food. Sit in the dark and stew while munching oodles of unhealthy appetizers at Private Salt's Lonely Hearts Club; plus, watch "War of the Roses" (7 p.m.) and "Sid and Nancy" (9 p.m.) on the 106-inch screen. 5 p.m. Tuesday. No cover; food and drink prices vary.
It's a derby job
Guys, like your dates a little rough and tumble? Make haste to the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and participate in a live version of "The Dating Game"; you could win a rendezvous with one of the Chi*Town Sirens Roller Derby gals. The party takes place on the ladies' home turf, so be sure to bring your skating skills and competitive 'tude. Includes DJs and skate rental; no alcohol. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday. $10.
Lots of ladies in red
Gals, you bought a sexy little number, then jilted the joker you were planning on wearing it for? Don't ditch the dress; all women in red get free admission to the Red Lace Valentine's bash at Level, featuring DJs Vice, OB-One, Tony Arzadon and Infinity. Really want revenge? Reveal a peek at your skivvies; ladies in rosy lingerie also score free bubbly. 8 p.m. Tuesday. $10.
Play it again
Single? You may not spend the night snuggled up to a sweetie, but you can still sit in the dark and sigh over romance at a back-to-back Valentine's Double Feature of "Casablanca" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's." The first 100 folks get a free flower, but be sure to BYO tissues. $9.25.
Star in your own action adventure
You could watch cartoons on the tube at home like a loser. Or you could get up, shower off and head to Sushisamba Rio's rooftop Anime Action Party. (We recommend option No. 2.) Mingle with other singles on the rooftop lounge, sip drinks from the open bar, snack on aphrodisiac-inspired appetizers and show off your moves to DJ tunes. 7 p.m. Tuesday. $60.
The way to her heart
Hard up for a last-minute dinner reservation? Wicker Park's Parlor still had a few tables available when we called; a multicourse prix fixe--think oysters on the half-shell with tobiko, caviar and pomegranate vinaigrette--plus pairings for two will set you back $110-$175. Or take her to Saltaus in the West Loop, where ladies get a free gift; seatings available before 6 or after 9:30 p.m. Like things a little more laid-back? South Side kitchen Army & Lou's offers a dinner buffet--baby-back ribs, Cornish hen, candied yams--and a glass of champagne set to live jazz for $29.95.
Jennifer Wehunt is the metromix print edition producer. Originally published February 13, 2006.