Wondering what guys really think? A good source might be Miguel Almaraz, co-author of "WTF Are Men Thinking? 250,000 Men Reveal What Women Really Want to Know" (Sourcebooks).
"We launched the website (wtfarementhinking.com) in 2010, where we compiled questions that were given to us by women, and then asked our male audience to answer them as honestly as possible," Almaraz said. "We had so much data, we could have written several books!" Following is an edited transcript of our conversation.
Q: What were some of the most surprising answers?
A: One I thought was interesting was how long guys would wait for sex after they started dating. From all the data that we had, the number that bubbled up most was four dates. At that point, they're looking at the relationship, going, "Am I going to stay in it for the long haul, regardless of whether we have sex or am I going to cut my losses and move on?"
Q: You say men often prefer a woman who isn't a perfect 10. Can you explain?
A: What guys told us is that a woman who doesn't have the perfect body is going to work harder to please you, no matter what it is — if it's sexually or emotionally. ... She may have an insecurity that she tries harder to compensate for. But a woman who is more attractive physically, she may not feel she has to work as hard because she knows she's attractive.
Q: What would make a guy take a pass on a second date?
A: (Being) rude or arrogant. Guys are observant. They're watching how you interact with waitstaff at the restaurant, how you interact with the valet, so they're looking at all this and they're really thinking, "That guy could be me!" And there was a question about whether you should kiss on the first date and guys said if they are not attracted to her, they probably won't kiss them good night — so that is a pretty strong indicator for whether or not the guy thought the date went well.