Teresa M. Pelham
10:50 AM EST, February 14, 2013
With the exception of one crazy-organized friend (you know who you are), everyone I know has clutter issues. Some have trouble keeping their kids’ toys under control. Others can’t get a handle on mail and the 73 pieces of paper that come home from school each week.
My clutter problem has to do with the fact that the two shortest members of our family leave their crap everywhere. A Hess truck and four LEGO pieces presently sit atop my otherwise nicely decorated mantle. Fruit snack wrappers are stuffed in between couch cushions. A gerbil exercise ball is balancing on top of my cookbooks. (The gerbil left this life about a year ago. I have no idea why this poop-covered thing suddenly reappeared.)
And oh, the socks. For years I seriously considered having “Put your damn socks away” painted in frilly French script on my kitchen wall. When I take off my socks, I’d never consider dropping them on the floor, yet I’ve raised children who do it every day. On the plus side, the dogs love it, since they always have something good and smelly to chew.
Unbeknownst to my boys, we’re about to tackle our clutter problem. February 16 and 17 have been designated National De-Clutter Weekend. (I totally made that up, but people make up this sort of thing all the time. I just received an email about National Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. I’m not kidding. It was Feb. 11.)
My plan is to have each offender walk throughout the house with a box and fill it with little LEGO guys and Nerf darts and socks and homework papers from last year.
I really don’t care where the contents of these boxes ends up, as long as it’s not in my kitchen.
Are you in?