June 29, 2013
You have your Eastern time zone, your Mountain time zone and your Central time zone. And then you have your tag sale time zone.
Time in the tag sale time zone works like this: No matter what time your tag sale is scheduled to begin, it begins when the first customers show up.
If there is no outside activity when they arrive, they will have no problem ringing the doorbell, just in case, you know, you overslept.
If you tell them they are too early, they tell you there is no need to apologize, they were up anyhow.
If you deny them access until the announced starting time, they will stake out your driveway like paparazzi.
The thing you have to be prepared for when you stick a tag sale sign on your lawn is that it is an open invitation for strangers to come on down and comb through your stuff.
This will not be an impersonal experience. Objects and prices will be held up to ridicule, eyes will be rolled, snide assessments made. The tag sale is no place for the sensitive.
One of the most tedious tasks a tag sale holder must perform, of course, is putting prices on each and every item. This is a total waste of time. In the recorded history of tag sailing, there is not a documented case of anyone ever agreeing to the tagged price.
Among those you will meet at your tag sale include:
The professionals: They briskly walk in, appraise the inventory, and then leave.
The socialites: They aren't interested in buying, they are interested in chatting.
The nosy: They just want to see what you don't want anymore.
The hobbyists: They think tag sales are fun.
The drive-bys: They roll down the car window as they cruise past, sometimes shouting out requests like "any wicker?"
The addicts: They don't want to go to your tag sale but can't help it.
The bargainers: They are not interested in owning anything; they are only interested in getting it for a good price.
Speaking of the bargainers, they fall into two groups:
The nickel/dimers: "You're asking $3, will you take $2 for this?"
The grating-annoying-nervy types: "You're asking $40 for this, I'll give you a dollar."
"Get out of my yard."
Copyright © 2014, The Hartford Courant