April 27, 2013
I refuse to believe that newspaper reporter is the worst job in America … um, at least I do right at this exact moment.
But that is the determination made by CareerCast.com, which recently ranked 200 jobs, best to worst, in its 2013 annual survey.
Among the 199 jobs deemed more desirable than newspaper reporter were dishwasher, garbage collector, sewage plant operator and lawyer. Lawyer, that one really hurts.
Lumberjack came in at second to worst to newspaper reporter, which is not surprising given that both trades rely heavily on the stress-inducing use of chain saws: lumberjacks to fell trees, newspaper editors to reduce sterling prose to heaps of hackneyed wood chips.
(Oops, sorry, sometimes years of seething bitterness just seeps in.)
The reason newspaper reporter is rated so poorly is because it gets low marks for things like pay, job security, hours and stress. Another factor was there are now fewer openings, which you think might be a plus.
What the survey fails to take into consideration are some of the perks newspaper reporters enjoy:
You don't have to conform to a dress code, although I think dress down Friday does have a rule about Speed-os.
You can swear as much as you want and no one bats an eye, which does take some of the enjoyment out of it.
You can second guess the boss if you chose, as well as the governor, or the mayor, or anyone else who happens to be handy.
You can come and go as you please, although your bosses can pretty much call you at any time of the day or night as they please.
You can sit at the same desk your entire career and never have cleaned it, and no one will have noticed.
Now, compare newspaper reporter to actuary, which was determined to be the No. 1 job in America. You know what an actuary does? "Interprets statistics to determine probabilities of accidents, sickness, and death, and loss of property from theft and natural disasters."
I mean, does that sound like a fun job or what?
Or how about Nuclear Decontamination Technician? "Cleanses nuclear power plant equipment and personnel of irradiated material." I guess this one does have a certain glow.
And don't get me started on podiatrist.
But then what do I know, right? I picked the worst profession in America.
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