Most Awkward Moments, Like Butt Dialing Your Boss

The awkward moment.

We've all been there. We all have awkward moments. In fact, we find ourselves in awkward moments so routinely that they really shouldn't be awkward. But they are.

Ever enthusiastically congratulate a friend on her pregnancy, and she isn't pregnant?

Ever hand a pair of pants to a woman in the clothing department and asked her if she can find you a smaller size, and she doesn't work there? (She wasn't very helpful, either.)

Ever run into a former love interest with your spouse and when you go to introduce them you forget both their names? (Trust me, this awkward moment can linger for years.)

I guess my most cringe-worthy awkward moment would have to be the time I walked onto an empty elevator just vacated by a seriously distressed gas passer only to have the elevator stop at the next floor where several people assumed I was the one responsible for the air quality, their watery eyes and bouts of vertigo.

Reunions are an awkward moment waiting to happen. In fact, one of the definitions of the word reunion should be: "Event when people gather to share awkward moments." Such as when you have no idea who the person you are talking to is, even though in high school you were voted "cutest couple."

Another venue lurking with awkwardness is the supermarket. The checkout clerk rings up a cart full of purchases and your credit card won't go through. And speaking of shopping carts, ever wheel away someone else's by mistake? (You'd think the purse would have been a dead giveaway.)

The hug is always problematic, particularly for men now that it has been expanded to include other men. I think we can agree the male-to-male hug enters the realm of awkward as soon as it expands beyond two back slaps.

I could go on: jostling for the arm rest at the movies, ass dialing the boss, telling someone his fly is down.

Or how about this one? You write a snarky e-mail about someone, send it to them by mistake, and then you have to weasel out of it: "Moron, no I didn't call you a moron. It was a typo. I meant to say you were a real macaroon, you know, sweet, like the cookie, really, honestly.

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