It counts its modem speed in kilobytes per second

And it uses a telephone landline to connect to the Internet and makes a sound like a cat falling into a blender. Yes, it's very impressive that you've upgraded to 28.8 kbps -- that's 28,800 bytes of data every second. You can download one of those mp3 music files in only 15 minutes! And if you're willing to wait a little longer, you might be able to watch a whole movie trailer. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be watching Netflix and are afraid to tell you that "Friends" is off the air.
Joe Pugliese / Los Angeles Times
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