Rita Rudner offers free tissue with purchase of $9 million beach house

Rita Rudner has applied her considerable comedic talents to the marketing of her Dana Point beach house and the result is a one-of-a-kind video.

Who else would include a free tissue with the purchase of a five-bedroom, five-bathroom house priced at $8.975 million?

Her husband, director-writer Martin Bergman, featured the Monarch Bay home in the 2011 film “Thanks,” in which Rudner acted. But Rudner may have her own hit on her hands with her YouTube parody.

The actress takes viewers through a tour of the 5,000-square-foot contemporary, which looks out onto the ocean.  

“This is the living room where we do roughly 33% of our living,”  Rudner opines on the video. Some nights the couple stare into the fireplace, drink and argue.

Features include a paparazzi-free patio, an elevator, an office, heated floors and a liberal use of retractable glass doors.

 “We have brought not only the outside in, we have brought the inside out, we have brought the left to the right, the right to the left, the up to the down,” she says. “It is so on trend.”

Rudner then moves onto the kitchen, where she demonstrates how to use the warming drawer to take the chill off a bra or chunky jewelry.

The Vegas headliner, 59, has used the house for vacationing and is building another home in the area for use when she retires from a career that has included dancing, stand-up comedy and acting. The home theater is one place she likes to unwind.

 “Sometimes after a hard day of staring at the ocean,” Rudner says, "I just like to kick back, turn on the TV and watch the wrestling.”  

The couple bought the house unfinished on leased land six years ago for $5.85 million. They completed the work and bought the parcel in December for $2.15 million.

The listing agents are Harold Noriega and Danielle Bowen of HOM Sotheby’s International Realty.

“We are looking forward to receiving your offers,” Rudner concludes, “and responding with a, ‘How dare you?’ "


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