"School should be an inclusive and safe place; families can decide to do something else special on their own," said Drew. "Things change, and that's OK."
In Chicago, Krieger said that while she notices the changes, she understands their necessity, given the risks for some families.
"There are two children in my daughter's class, they would die if they had peanuts," she said. "I completely see those parents' point of view."
And at Hatch Elementary School in Oak Park, Principal Sheila Carter has instructed teachers to keep plastic bags handy to wrap up goodies brought in by parents who missed the no-treat memo.
She'll also keep several boxes of unopened cards in her office for children who show up without any to distribute.
"Everybody wants to belong, and when they're passing out cards, and you don't have any to pass out … why put them through that," Carter said.
On a recent afternoon, Jennifer Sammon, of Western Springs, did her best to keep the rules from all three of her children's schools in mind as she perused the valentine card selection at a Target store.
She considered a bag of candy but settled on a box of Barbie valentines, which came with press-on tattoos. Those, she said, were definitely not on the school's banned list and would be a hit in her daughter's preschool class.
"I think it's lost on them that things are different," Sammon said. "I don't think the kids feel like they're missing out."