No Worries? Well, A Maybe A Few

Things I worry about:

I worry about sink holes.

I worry about Elvis, although I'm beginning to suspect he may be dead after all.

I worry about getting a text message from Anthony Weiner.

I worry my basic coffee preferences peg me as unsophisticated.

I worry about getting a hole-in-one while playing golf by myself.

I worry about asteroids, which when you think about it is a better name for hemorrhoids than hemorrhoids ... but I digress.

I worry Hootie and the Blow Fish might get back together.

I worry about lightning because the vast majority of people struck are men.

I worry my wife will make me stand outside during thunderstorms if she finds this out.

I worry about winning only $1 million in the lottery.

I worry the postal service will stop delivering junk mail on Saturday.

I worry surveillance cameras are not getting my good side.

I worry the Red Sox will not make the playoffs.

I worry the Red Sox will make the playoffs.

I worry about the bacon supply.

I worry the ATM will short change me if I don't request a receipt.

I worry that if I like a movie too much there will be a sequel.

I worry about the guy with the purple face in my rearview mirror.

I don't worry about being smarter than a fifth grader, but I do worry that fifth graders may not be that smart anymore.

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