How A Bill Becomes A Law (Only In Connecticut)

Actually, it's a secret, but then everything is

Wimpy New Cell Phone/Driving Law

Among the laws passed by the legislature was one that increases the penalties for using a cell phone while driving. The bill, unfortunately, is more of a feel good measure rather than something that might actually discourage these bobbing and weaving idiots in that it only nominally increases the fines for second, third and subsequent offenses. To get these 4G drunks off the roads, the penalties should be as follows:

First, there should be no second, third or subsequent offenses. One and you are done. This is more than fair because the chances of getting pulled over even once are so small. So, the first time you are caught justice is administered as so: The police officer places your phone on the road and makes you watch as he beats it with a five-pound sledge hammer until no piece is larger than a neutrino.

Weak Bits

The legislature passed a bill requiring tattoo artists in the state to be licensed. The measure passed on a party line vote, 93-48, and begged two questions: Why would Republicans be opposed to such licensing? And, has there ever been a confirmed sighting of a Republican with a visible tattoo?

The chief of staff to Hartford Mayor Pedro Segarra is resigning. Jared Kupiec, you may recall, is the one who charged that lavish $700 New Year's Eve dinner at Max Downtown to his city-issued credit card. Bidding him Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams.

What's next after mixed martial arts, which is essentially just organized street fighting? Hey, maybe we could have short blade knife fighting, or to appease the gun guys, how about bring back dueling? Tell me these wouldn't be revenue generators?

Can't believe the legislature actually spent time on, and then passed, a bill that allows squeamish high school students to be excused from frog dissecting if they have a note from their parents. Dissecting a dead, pre-pickled frog is a rite of passage.

The Weak in Tweets

Just got a PR e-mail touting a bathroom deodorizer called poo-pourri.

Connecticut now has an official state polka? See, that's legislation that should have been passed in secret.

The problem with Game of Thrones is the good guys get whacked too much, and the bad guys never seem to pay for being bad.

Governor Wormer gets his double-secret Sandy Hook bill passed.

Dear NSA: As long as you are checking out my computer could you find that story I accidentally deleted last week. Thanks.

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