Inside the royal birthing room:
Are you feeling all right, Kate?
Yes, quite, as to be expected.
Can I get you anything?
Perhaps a cup of ice would be good.
Cubed or shaved?
Either, Will, don't want to put you out.
Coming along, are we Kate?
As to be expected.
Is there anything I can do?
Just try and stay out of the nurses' way, dear.
How we doing, Kate, coming along?
Coming along? Why, do you have somewhere to be? Maybe you'd like to run out and play a game of squash like your grandfather did while your father was being born?
Sorry, I didn't mean to …
No, seriously, if you have to be somewhere we can put this off until you get back, no bother, really.
You, you're being sarcastic … aren't you?