From Cool Car To The Woodstock: A Car Designed Just for Boomers

Your car choices change over the years.

Your first car can be any car, the most important thing being that it is a car.

In the working single years your car needs to be a cool car, and while cool is subjective, I think we can all agree that a station wagon, even one with wood paneling, did not meet the criteria.

Once you have a family, any semblance of coolness is traded in for the undisputed icon of anti coolness — the minivan.

Now, as baby boomers move through their 50s and 60s, their driving preferences are changing yet again. Unfortunately, car manufacturers are failing to produce vehicles that meet the unique needs of this huge demographic.

So, introducing, "The Woodstock," the first vehicle specifically designed for aging baby boomers.

Shape: The car will be wider than longer because, well, that's the direction our bodies are headed.

Seats: Think heated, vibrating and, of course, Corinthian leather.

Engine: A peppy, plug in electric that will get fabulous mileage, although it will sound more like a blender than a car.

Performance: The selling point here is not top speed, but minimum speed, which will be automatically monitored by a computer to assure the boomer never drops below 40 mph when on an Interstate highway.

Signal lights: The turn indicator will produce a loud gong (think Big Ben) accompanied by a red flashing light, and eventually a stiff electrical shock. As an additional fail safe, a blinking turn signal will automatically shut itself off after a half hour.

Windshield: All windshields will be prescription and feature a progressive-lens capability for distance driving as well as reading street signs up close.

GPS: The system will be easier to use and concentrate on just getting you from here to there. That said, it will maintain a real-time list of restaurants that begin serving at 5 p.m.

Radio: Back to basics, here. You want a station you press one of the six large, square buttons. To save a station, you pull the button out and then press it back in.

Back up camera: The tweak here is that the camera will include audio: You have 10 feet. You have 5 feet. You have to call your insurance company.


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