As a public service we thought we might comb through the state budget ourselves looking for additional areas where Gov. Dannel Malloy can make cuts and adjustments to help reduce a projected deficit in the $100 million range.
Some may ask, where did this deficit come from?
The answer is, totally out of the blue, really, just popped up unannounced out of nowhere, really.
Some may ask, why was the shortfall only discovered immediately after Malloy was reelected?
The answer is, sheer coincidence.
Some may also ask, do you believe in the tooth fairy?
The answer is, yes.
But back to finding ways to save the state money.
Here is The Weak’s 10-point plan for helping to reign in the deficit. The plan, of course, is more big picture than nitty gritty. The Weak doesn’t do figures.
1. Replace globe trotting state Insurance Commissioner Thomas B. Leonard with someone who is on the No Fly List.
2. Reduce the number of men on state construction projects whose job is to stand around drinking coffee and staring into a hole.
3. Instruct DOT drivers to stop plowing once the road is clear of snow.
4. Trade in state owned cars for something more economical, like Vespas.
5. Reassign the Lt. Governor (assistant defensive line coach at UConn?)
6. Sell the governor’s Executive Mansion, and rent an Executive Condo.
7. Either do away with the deli counter number system at the DMV, or have them start selling cold cuts.
8. Charge morning rush-hour commuters for parking on Route 84.
9. Shut off the legislative office building people mover, and have legislators move themselves.
10. Cut down on the number of State Police radar traps (particularly on Route 9).
Buffalo Snow from Connecticut Perspective
Towns in the Buffalo area received more than 80 inches of snow last week, which is a lot of white stuff. But how that compare to some of our historic snows?
The granddaddy of all snow storms in Connecticut, of course, is the famed Blizzard of 1888, which raged from March 11-14. Although it was more of a wind-driven event (70-90 mph), the snowfall totals were impressive. New Haven recorded 44.7 inches, Wallingford and Waterbury had 42 inches, and Hartford 36 inches. Middletown took top honors, where the accumulation measured 50 inches, a record that still stands.
Probably the most talked about storm in recent memory was the Blizzard of 1978, which caught many by surprise, stranded hundreds of cars on the highways, and prompted Gov. Ella T. Grasso to close down the entire state. Total accumulation from this storm, in the 2 foot range.
The Blizzard of 2013 saw a new word introduced into our “be afraid” weather vocabulary, bombogenesis, which is the rapid intensification of a nor’easter off the East Coast during the colder months. With winds of 60 mph, the bombo dropped 4-5 inches an hour at its peak. Snowfall totals in some towns exceeded the normal amount for an entire winter. Hamden topped the charts with 40 inches, and Milford was a close second at 38 inches.
The Winter of 1996 was the snowiest on record in Connecticut. By the time it stopped piling up in mid-April, the Bakersville section of New Hartford had recorded 131.7 inches for the season, the most in the state. In Ashford, 127.4 inches had fallen. At the Shepaug Dam in Southbury, 117 inches. And in Hartford, 115.2 inches fell.
Kind of makes what Buffalo is experiencing all the more horrifying.
Things to Be Thankful For
You don’t work for a big box retail store.
You are not a New York Jets fan.
You don’t have to worry about “lake affect” snow.
You haven’t had your car’s air bag activate.
You are not a Hartford Registrar of Voters.
You never had a drink with Bill Cosby.
You are not doing the cooking this year.
You can do all your Christmas shopping online.
You have several series to binge watch.
You have room to spare in your “fat clothes.”
Tweets of the Weak
@Jimboshea
Is it time to start thinking about relocating the polar bears to Buffalo?
The last airline I didn’t hate, Jet Blue, is planning to reduce leg room on its planes. On plus side, I’ll have more flying options now.
Talk about a romance killer: a simple kiss involves 80,000 germs.
Guess UConn women’s loss wasn’t a dream. They really looked out of sorts, credit Stanford.
If you bar people who hear voices from owning guns, then only the voices will have guns.
Song of the Weak
“The Warmth of the Sun” (Beach Boys)
