The gist: This intellectual analysis of romance novels tackles rapist heroes, pirate cliches and quivering mounds of sexual euphemisms. Also includes write-your-own-romance-novel MadLibs and superb chapter subheadings, such as "The Irresistible Woman's Magic Hoo Hoo Tames the Untamable Mighty Wang."
If you ... Get turned on by competition
The gist: Make romantic wagers on mundane things, such as: "If Anoop gets voted off 'American Idol' this week, we'll do tequila body shots," or, "If the next head of state to visit the White House is Silvio Berlusconi, you have to wear a naughty nurse costume."
If you ... Are seeking closure about a breakup
Check out ... "Better Love Next Time" by J.M. Kearns
The gist: Examine what went wrong in your past relationship so you don't repeat those mistakes. Know the signs that a relationship is going down the tubes (example: you cry when he's nice to you), beware the rebound, recognize if someone is wrong for you, and understand why some good matches go bad.
If you ... Are on a hunt for your soul mate
Check out ... "How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes (or less)" by Nicholas Boothman
The gist: The key to love is finding your "matched opposite": a person who shares your same values, but has a different personality. So get out there, make eye contact, smile, and look for those "Me too!" moments of conversation when you can establish common ground.
If you ... Have a crush and a cell phone
Check out ... "Flirtexting" by Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz
The gist: Master flirtatious texting by knowing the rules, such as: "Do not respond immediately to any text"; "The overuse of abbreviations, acronyms and smilies ... will put you on the next bus back to Single-town"; and "If a boy texts you any time past 10 p.m., he only wants to make out with you late night."
If you ... Suspect your partner is cheating
Check out ... "Warning Signs: How to Know If Your Partner is Cheating--and What to do About It" by Anthony DeLorenzo and Dawn Ricci
The gist: Is he suddenly buying new clothes? Is she expressing a different taste in movies? Does he seem disinterested and bored? From body language to cell phone text messages, these private investigators take you through the signs of infidelity and the steps for confronting an unfaithful lover.
If you ... Are in a sex-less relationship
Check out ... "Sizzling Sex in 30 Days"
The gist: Follow a 30-day road map to rekindle your sex life (note: actual sex doesn't happen until Day 12). Day 1: Awaken your senses; Day 6: Massage for lovers; Day 12: Going all the way ... slowly; Day 22: Take a bath or skinny dip together; Day 30: Celebrate with your dream date.
If you ... Worry that sex with your partner is getting boring