Breaking news: Jay Z and Beyonce got into a violent altercation with others that was captured on a noir-ish film.

Not, not that. America's Royal Couple has instead released a faux trailer for a faux action movie to advertise their upcoming "On The Run" tour.

The clip stars Jay and Bey as robbers on the lam, with a soundtrack from Jay's "Magna Carta Holy Grail" track "Part II (On The Run)." There is gunfire, strippers, huge explosions and Beyonce attending to a gunshot wound.

Essetially the whole inner orbit of Hollywood joins them in the video: Guests include Jake Gyllenhaal, Guillermo Díaz, Blake Lively, Sean Penn, Don Cheadle, Emmy Rossum, Rashida Jones and many others. Melina Matsoukas, a favorite collaborator, directed the video.

For those expecting an actual feature-length film, however, do note that the release is date is currently pegged as "coming never."

The "On The Run" tour stops at the Rose Bowl on Aug. 2-3. Bring bandages and balaclavas.