By Ernest Wilkins, @ErnestWilkins
12:55 PM EDT, March 27, 2013
Once in a while, a movie slips under your radar. For about, oh, 20 years. In 'Big-screen blind spot,' we sit down with those 'classic' movies everybody but us has seen and give them the nostalgia critic treatment.
Confession: Until last night, I had never seen “Lost In Translation,” the Sophia Coppola-helmed Bill Murray/Scarlett Johansson vehicle about loneliness, longing and Japan.
Had I watched it in 2003 at the age of 18: As a freshman in college, my key focuses were consuming alarming amounts of Southern Comfort, sex, “Madden NFL” and downloading music from Kazaa. (Sorry, Mom! I still got a 3.0!) The only way I would have seen this movie is if I was on a date and wanted to seem “worldly.” Even then, the viewing time would have been spent trying to make out with whatever poor human being agreed to date me at that age.
Now: ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Look, I appreciate the theme of the film. Two humans trapped in a foreign land must deal with insomnia, unhappiness and not being able to build a connection with anyone other than each other. That is well and good and should be applauded. However, was this film was so busy being a critical darling that no one realized that nothing actually HAPPENS in it? The only attempt at a major conflict point comes at almost the end of the film when Murray sleeps with the lounge singer lady. Other than that, the awesome background of modern Tokyo all lit up and shiny wasn't enough to keep me from being bored out of my skull. Oh, look at the wacky Japanese man sing karaoke! LOL, we can't understand their silly language! Gosh, Anna Faris sure is an idiot! I'm OK with missing the boat on this one, folks. As for what Murray whispered to Johansson at the end? I'm fairly certain it was, “Can you believe they sat through the whole thing?”
Must be noted: Some intrepid (and obviously bored) soul enhanced the audio of the film to a ridiculous amount and revealed what Murray whispers at the end of the film. If you dig around on YouTube, you can find it pretty easily.
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